The Lightest Burden

Direction...

2011-10-07T20:42:00.000-04:00

Ever have one of those weeks? You know the kind where you just can't get on top of things? I've been physically ill all week. I think my body has broken down because of my emotional state.

Last Sunday as we were loading the car to get to church we discovered we had been robbed. I love a few "things" and the one "thing" that I love most was taken from me. I had left my camera in the car with all of my favorite equipment. I glanced at it the night before as I was getting out and thought, "I'll leave it in so we won't forget to bring it with us to the park after church." What's ironic is that I had just returned from Walmart, where I had carried it in with me for fear of it being stolen from my car in the parking lot.

Many things race through my mind as a result of this. One- guilt... "You don't deserve something you can't take care of." 2. again--guilt, "You shouldn't feel so bad, be grateful for what you have." 3. Extreme anger. 4. Pity and prayer for the thieves to be convicted in their hearts. 5.Sadness and loss as if a part of me was taken... and then back at one...

My home insurance will cover a very small percentage of what was taken. I have a $1000 deductible... yes you can cry for me if you want. :) With the few hundred that I anticipate getting back, I will begin to rebuild my collection and I will also look into third party insurance.

The level to which this has impacted me has also solidified my passion for photography. I am now wondering if I should take photography to a new level, what that would look like, and how it would work out as I continue to raise two young boys alongside my husband.

I'm now looking for things around my house to sell and am restocking my Etsy store with shirts that I have made in order to raise new funds for my camera.

Graces

2011-09-26T13:45:00.001-04:00

For many reasons it's been a while since I've posted the gifts God gives. One is lack of time at the computer. So, I'm typing from an app on my iPhone because I'm really feeling a void from the absence of naming blessings. Random order of things I can remember from the last few weeks. (not sure of the numbers so will add later)

Brothers bonding. Really a highlight in out life!
Celebrating birthday with friends and family
Baby nicknames: Thumper and Bruiser
3 year old's first soccer game
Home insurance
Loneliness that only God can fill
LSU football
Missing New Orleans and remembering my time there
A new lens
A new book from a friend
Big boy booster seat
Being emptied so that I can be truly filled
Christmas shopping mostly done
Baby grunting and squealing experiment with sounds.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Mountains within and the faith that moves them

2011-08-31T09:18:00.001-04:00

"And He said to them, “Because of the littleness of your faith; for truly I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you.["But this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting.”]" Matthew 17:20

Until recently I thought that faith was a strength of mine. Maybe it is in a since, but I think it's been in the wrong place. I have found recently that I'm not motivated the way I once was. I think that it's because I have been motivated by the wrong thing. I've lived more out of obligation and trying to live up to a standard rather than resting in love. My faith has largely been in myself rather than in Him.

See, it's actually easier that way even though it's impossible to ever meet the standard. For to rest in love, one has to trust and to believe in love. I now realize that I have little faith in love. Therefore, I hardly rest in it and it has not been my motivation for living.

The other night I woke up in the middle of the night and had to write. I just wrote a little because sleep these days is hard to come by. Here's what I wrote:

"Jesus said, 'Faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains,' and the largest mountains seem to be in my heart. I have lost faith in a father's love and find myself running in self preservation from it. I run in vain as it's impossible to escape the Father's love and there's no place to hide from Him. There is a still small piece of me that hopes, though most of my being rejects the idea of unfailing love. This small bit of hope keeps me holding on, waiting for a father's love to come to the rescue. 'Lord, I do believe, help my unbelief.' My unbelief seems so great. I feel Him stirring within me."

Yes, the largest mountains seem to be in my heart. But even the smallest faith can send the mountains crumbling into the sea.

In Matthew 17:1 the disciples asked Jesus why they couldn't drive out the demon and heal a man. He replied that they didn't have faith. They were trying in vain in their own strength to perform the miracle of healing and driving out demons. So often I try in my own strength to drive out the past that haunts me. Healing and power come from Him alone and with just a little bit of faith He can heal and restore as he performs miracles in my heart and I learn to rest in His love.

Eyes opening

2011-08-18T21:36:00.000-04:00

I have not been motivated to do much of anything lately, including photography. It's also been hot, so I haven't taken my boys to the park in a while.

Well, today I knew we needed to get out of the house so I grabbed my camera and my boys and headed to the park.

Now after looking at the shots and doing a little post-processing, I feel I am coming to life again as joy of the moments of this day take over and lift my spirit.

I should never stop taking pictures. I feel more alive when I can see through the lens.

Here are a few shots.

The hard stuff.

2011-07-28T20:46:00.000-04:00

Why share the hard stuff? I often struggle to know whether to share the harder parts of my life. Who really wants to hear about that? Mostly, we'd rather look at happier, lighter things than the ugly and painful. I know I would. But God has a purpose in EVERYTHING and as I look at Scripture I see people who suffered and lived to TELL about it. I see that they tell of God's glory and God's purpose. They don't sweep half of their life under the rug and just tell of the easy stuff.

Take Joseph for example. One of the main things we remember about him is the way that his brothers mistreated him. God uses their acts against him for Joseph's good and God's glory. Joseph acknowledges this and forgives his brothers.

I hope in the way my story unfolds, God receives glory for every step of the way.

In addition, healing for my heart comes as I tell my story. I'm given a voice to express what still pains me. Children in abuse have no voice, no control or say in their world. As I speak about what was never spoken about as a child, I am strengthened and comforted and empowered to move forward.

SO, thanks to you for sticking with me through the hard stuff. Though it can be hard to share, it's harder to deny that it ever happened. And I'm comforted to have a few to walk alongside with in this journey as we share our stories with one another.

The Practice of Love

2011-07-27T21:18:00.004-04:00

The practice of love

Or the absence thereof

Eats away at the core

Where you wouldn’t give more

Gnawing, it erodes and threatens to consume

The firstfruits of me before I’m aware

The practice of love

Mixed with threats, cuts and blood

My safe haven shattered

As our dreams lie tattered

Fleeing to hide in a shelter that eludes

As approaching hope drowns in fear

The practice of love

Dreadful script comes undone

My Savior catches each tear

As He holds me forever near

Healing, restoring He gives life anew

And leads me to the true practice of love

The practice of love

Born from the One above

Proves unlike any I’ve known

Teaching me deep truths of Home

Running, soaring in His strength I can do

As He does and lay my life down for you.

What is the Studio?

2011-07-26T09:09:00.000-04:00

If you have been following this blog, you have noticed that I have begun directing you to a place I call the Studio. Officially named Life River Studios, it has become a landing place and online home for many of my creative endeavors. In addition, I write posts there that I share on Facebook in hopes of sharing what God is doing in my life and how He shows Himself to me through the gift of creation and of creating. Because I share links with basically anybody I've ever brushed shoulders with, I'm hoping to keep it deep, but not as much as a journal as this blog has been. It's been a blessing to hear from non-believers that they read and are impacted by what I've written there.

All that to say, this blog will remain somewhat of a journal. I don't plan on making it private, but I don't plan on linking these posts to my Facebook account either. I may share struggles in more depth here. I'd like a place to continue to write and have support, but not for my whole world to know. Thank you all who follow and encourage me. :)

Counting daily grace...

2011-07-25T21:13:00.001-04:00

I'm continuing to count some of the many ways that God blesses me. It's easy to look at the happy days and good times and praise God for them. Only a few weeks ago, I had an amazing trip to the mountains in which God's neverending grace shined so clearly. Now home and back to the daily grind of life and even darker struggles of depression, can I thank Him the same way as I did just a few weeks ago? It's definitely not as easy, but He remains the same. The same God who made the mountains, made the valleys and walks with me through the highs and lows. (Job 2:10, Ecclesiastes 7:14).

"As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy." James 5:11

Come by my studio to continue counting with me.

An art of seeing

2011-07-17T22:18:00.000-04:00

Until recently, I thought that taking good pictures heavily relied on being in the right place at the right time with camera in hand. Many good pictures are taken that way, like a strike of lighting over the horizon, a rare bird found feeding her babies, or the winning touchdown in the superbowl (I have a friend who takes those shots).

One of the ways that I escape the craziness of raising two lively boys is to get out in nature, go for a walk, and take pictures. During this time I draw near to God as I am amazed at His beauty shown through all that he has made. As I focus my lens on glimpses of His glory, He shows me that He is near. I believe He speaks to us through His creation, if we have eyes to see it.

Come by and see me at the Studio to read more, see more, and praise God with me for the gifts he gives.

A Preschooler's thoughts on Heaven.

2011-07-06T21:21:00.000-04:00

On Thursday's I like to link up with Christina at To Show Them Jesus to explore what it means to teach our kids about Jesus and practical ways to do so. Do you have any ideas or challenges that you can share? Consider joining us!

I'm still working with my three year old through a great book for preschoolers, My ABC Bible Verses: Hiding God's Word in Little Hearts. It's amazing the way that he can remember the verses and the opportunity that I have to use them in our daily conversations.

Today's verse was, "Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life." John 5:24 I didn't really think that he was paying much attention. Usually it doesn't seem like he is, but he still remembers the verses. In the middle of the story he asked, "Mommy, where is Heaven." Stumped that he was listening and thinking, I stumbled for an answer. I really tried to avoid talking to much about death on this day. I told him that Heaven was God's home and where we could live forever with Him if we believe in Jesus with all our heart. I told him that Heaven is the place that we were made of, that Heaven is our true Home.

Later we were riding in the car and he began talking more about Heaven. "It will take us a long long time to get to Heaven" (I think he meant drive).

"Well, it might," I answered, "but it might not take that long at all. We don't drive there. We will go when Jesus comes to bring us Home or when God chooses to bring us there. We don't know when, so we should always be ready."

Wow. This is the first real discussion that we have had where I can tell he is thinking. It's neat to see him asking questions. I continue to pray for God's Spirit to move deep in his heart that he would love and follow Him.

We approached our house. "There's our house! We're home!" I said. He shouted "Yay, there's Heaven!"
Oh the thoughts of a child! I smiled and said, "Not quite, son." But I'm glad that he made a connection that Heaven is our Home.

A New Command

2011-07-06T20:55:00.000-04:00

I'm intrigued by the commandment that Christ gives to His disciples, to us. I find it interesting that to love (truly and selflessly) can be called a new command by the One who manifests love in the flesh. Love certainly began before the foundation of the world. In love He knew us before the creation of the world and called us His own. God himself is love, therefore love always has been. How is it that we have lost sight and now must be given this new command?

After all, we know what love is right? We search for it and long for it, write about it, watch movies about it, and sing songs about it. Sometimes we even give it to others. But our view of love has been tainted with a love of self which blinds us to how to truly love.

'A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.’” John 13:34-35

I'm at The Studio today. Would you come by for a visit to read the rest of this post?

Abounding grace in so many gifts

2011-07-04T10:55:00.003-04:00

This week finds me at home after a sweet vacation with friends in the mountains in Chattanooga. I loved being away in the beauty of God's creation. I can't wait to get away again. Meanwhile, I settle back into my Florida home, a bit out of place, but right where God has placed me.

596. Early morning walks to the dock.
597. My fishermen in the canoe.
598. Connecting with dear friends from New Orleans and the unique fellowship we share.
599. A longing for our fellowship to be together again (we've been apart since Hurricane Katrina) which points me to a deeper longing for our true Home and a fellowship unimaginable in the glory of our Father.
600. Encouraging words from a friend.
601. The men taking the boys for the afternoon and an opportunity for the mommas to get away.
602. Breakfast cooked by my Hubby.
603. Used book stores.
604. Fun photos.
605. A challenge to grow in the art of photography.
606. Helping a turtle cross the street.
607. Lots of playtime for the boys.
608. My son's joy to be with his friends.
609. A beautiful "hike"
610. The wonder of caves and the way they grow and form, evidence of God's handiwork in places unseen.
611. A still somewhat new happiness.
612. Friends to travel with.

Give Thanks to the Lord...

2011-06-26T21:54:00.001-04:00

Gratitude Monday is here again and once again I feel out of time to even come close to adequately expressing how good God has been. But even just a glimpse will show the greatness of God.

"You are my God, and I will praise you; you are my God, and I will exalt you. Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever." Psalm 118: 28,29 (you should read this whole psalm)

577. The faithfulness of God proven over and over again in my life.
578. God is my sure foundation and there is nothing more sure than His promises to me.
579. A quiet home and energy to do a little housework while my preschooler enjoys meeting new friends at school.
580. A day to not leave the house, get ready for our vacation, and play cars and trains with my preschooler.
581. My baby's determination to learn how to crawl. He is close. :) I am bracing myself!
582. Rediscovering my sling and how to carry my growing infant on my hip in it.
583. Our family's excitement for vacation with friends.
584. Friends inviting us to enjoy a nice cabin on the river in Chattanooga (and sacrificing the master room for our family.
585. The long drive going better than I expected with my two little ones.
586. Hotel reward points providing a nice Hilton suite for us to break up the drive into two days.
587. My husband's joy to be able to fish on the river often during our stay, and his restraint to be able to put it aside to help with the boys and fellowship with friends.
588. Boys playing.
589. Rocking chairs on front porches overlooking the Tennessee River and mountains.
590. Children's museum (an amazing place)
591. New City Fellowship (a very cool church)
592. Worshiping with many cultures gathered under one roof giving a glimpse of how I believe worship will be in heaven, though our colors will be all the more brilliant in His glorious presence.
593. A city that has rich culture, artistic expression, a historic city, and mountains. I couldn't dream of a better place this side of home, though my husband would add an ocean coast to his wish list.
594. That this list really is only a glimpse of all that God has done for me.

2011-06-20T20:30:00.001-04:00

So many thanks, so little time. I thought about just posting each photo as a thanks, but each one holds multiple reasons to be thankful, so many I can't list. And then there are the things invisible that can only be seen with eyes of the heart. I've had a full week. Here is a small glimpse.

531. Play date at the children's museum.
532. Antique fire truck, child sized grocery store, and a pirate ship complete with kitchen and cannons.
533. Imaginations of little boys to make it all come to life.
534. Boys who are like brothers.
535. Picnic lunch.

536. Andrew's first day of preschool.
537. His excitement and eagerness to get in and play with new friends.
538. Packing his lunch.
539. Backpack as a birthday present from his friends.
540. School bus t-shirt and Life is indeed good.

541. Growing baby feet.
542. His fascination with the texture of grass.
543. Baby sitting up.
544. The feel of cool grass.
545. God who makes all things grow.

546. How my heart melts when my boys smile.
547. This crooked little smile and the personality behind it.
548. Six months old.
549. Eyes deep and beautiful like the ocean.
550. Holding, rocking, kissing, tickling, and cuddling this baby boy.

551. Celebrating a birthday boy.
552. Parties in the park.
553. Pinatas and the little ones who can't reach, but try anyways.
554. Snowcones, cupcakes, juice, and various other sugar group foods and a day to splurge on them.
555. Limbo, launching rockets, and stickers and chalk art.

556. Nana in town for a weekend.
557. Little hat to protect his little head.
558. Beautiful sunny weather to enjoy the river.
559. Fellowship with my church family with kayaks, boats, and rafts.
560. Both of my boys' love for the water.

561. The joy of discovering and exploring that little boys have.
562. Seining for shrimp and fish.
563. Little fingers trying to catch little creatures.
564. How all of the children flock to our new pastor.
565. A true family of believers.

566. "All your sons will be taught by the LORD, and great will be your children's peace." Isaiah 54:13
567. The covenant of God for our family.
568. The Keeper of the covenant and his infinite ability to uphold it.
569. Our congregation who are family and help to raise our boys in the knowledge of Christ.
570. God's grace to us to call us to himself, from darkness to life, and set us in the family of his followers.

571. The provision of a pastor just in time for MD's baptism.
572. Expectant hope of what God will do in the life of this little guy (and my other one).
573. Confidence in Him to work in their hearts (and mine).
574. Sweater vests and baby shoes :)
575. Unbelieving family who attended the service and stayed for the preaching of God's Word.
576. His ability to exchange hearts of stone for hearts of flesh.

Survival?

2011-06-18T10:04:00.000-04:00

This week I have gone into complete survival mode. The ironic thing about "survival mode" for me is that it is really no way to survive. I'm thankful for the grace of God that holds me up when I shut down and pull away.

What led to this? I think a week FULL of activity causes me to feel cramped and overwhelmed. To deal with it I go into autopilot making it from one activity to the next, but just living on the surface looking for the day that it will ease up. My life giving relationship neglected, this really is no way to survive. It's a downward spiral in which I want to withdraw from everyone including my heavenly Father.

And speaking of father. I honestly would like to skip this week... for some reason it's been especially hard and painful this year to remember my earthly father. Praying for grace to forgive and grace to know true Fatherly Love.

In all this, I rely on Christ, who saves me from myself, lifts my head, heals my heart, and allows me to stand before God in His righteousness.

I have nothing to bring, but He has all that I need.

Ongoing Thanks...

2011-06-13T06:00:00.004-04:00

As I look through pictures from the week along with a few thanks written down, I am happy. Happy that I have been so blessed. Though I am tired and worn out, God has been good to me. This counting of gifts is once again an amazing reminder to take my eyes off of overwhelming circumstances that tempt me to lose sight and despair. And to be honest, I have lost sight often even today. Thanks to the grace of God that He always draws me back. Thanks to Him that I truly am blessed and happy in Him.

511. Water play
512. Neighborhood wildlife
513. A significantly decreased energy bill
514. An efficient a.c.
515. A dog delighted and happy just to be in my presence
516. Trains lined all in a row, how my son usually leaves them
517. God turned my most dreaded task of the day to the most joyful
518. As far as the east is from the west...
519. Job 23:10
520. Playful boys in the fountains
521. Reading Counterfeit Gods with my accountability group.
522. Husband home.
523. A fun family weekend together.
524. That though I am often overwhelmed, nothing can overwhelm my God.
525. He carries my burdens.
526. Little Fire fighters.
527. New Foods
528. Pizza at the park
529. Boys swinging
530. Happy boys

Teach me Jesus--that they would pursue God

2011-06-09T20:10:00.000-04:00

Today I'm linking in with Christina at To Show Them Jesus as we continue to explore how to raise our children in the love of Christ. Do you have any ideas? We'd love for you to join us!

I'm on the last point of our family parenting philosophy:

A growing love for God and life of pursuing Him. We hope that our children will grow to love God with all their heart, soul, and mind. We hope to instill spiritual disciplines in them that will develop their relationship with our Father. We hope that what they learn from us grows into a life of pursuing God and growing in grace, that their time under our roof may just be the beginning.

The toughest part of raising our kids to know Jesus, is that ultimately it is out of our hands whether they believe and follow or not. Our faith has to be in God who works in their hearts. He hears our hearts prayers and aches for our children and He uses us to show His ways. As I strive to share the grace of God to my boys, I trust God to do the hard work of transforming their hearts. I don't want them to "be a Christian" because of who Mom and Dad are. I hope they love Jesus because of their understanding of who He is and what He has done.

My children are still young, but I can already see God working in my 3 year old. For several months we have been reading every morning as we eat breakfast. Andrew wakes up looking forward to this time and always asks what we will read today. Lately we have been reading My ABC Bible Verses: Hiding God's Word in Little Hearts. As we read I thought the stories might be a little over his head, but it's awesome to see God at work. For each letter of the alphabet, there's a Bible verse with a story and questions of application. We read one a day and review the entire list every day. As we were reviewing recently, he started saying some of the verses from memory. WOW! So cool how he can remember so easily. Now, with the verses that we have been reading together, he has God's Word in his heart and I can talk to him about it during teachable moments throughout the day. What an honor to be used by God in the shaping of this little guy and to watch as God is the strength behind all of the work.

Beauty

2011-06-08T08:04:00.000-04:00

When given the opportunity, I grab my camera and head out of the house after dinner. Most days by this time the demands of mothering leave me defeated and deflated. Getting out in God's creation refreshes my soul and renews my Spirit.

Today, would you come with me on our usual walk to a frequent spot where I’ve taken many shots of beautiful flowers. This day I’m drawn, not to them, but to what I’ve walked across to get to them.

Low to the ground below them lay humble beauty—that which we call weeds and pluck from the ground to preserve and manicure what we esteem as beautiful.

And he calls beautiful what the world tramples.

Come join me in the studio to join me in a walk with Him today.

Summertime Thanks

2011-06-06T06:15:00.001-04:00

486. Stability of the Unchanging One.
487. The righteousness of Christ
488. He is my Healer and the lifter of my head.
489. His mercies are new every day.
490. The longing He has put in my heart for Him.
491. Memorial Day, remembering and honoring.
492. Cookouts with friends
493. Minds at battle, playing chess

494. Mahi caught by my man
495. A nice dinner featuring said Mahi
496. Baby's first time to feel the ocean.

497. Friend who captured the moment for me.
498. Brothers at the beach.

499. Baby sleeping on beach towel.
500. Half way to 1000!
501. Grace to rest in Him and stop laboring in vain.
502. An evening home alone to rest.
503. A first birthday party
504. My big boy jumping and swimming

505. Beach ball, blow up boats, and rings
506. The way swimming wears little boys out.

507. A morning of sleeping until almost 7.
508. An amazing lunch with my church family
509. A new sermon series on Ruth
510. That God truly is good even in the darkest of times.

And the walls come down.

2011-06-04T21:09:00.003-04:00

As I sit to write this, I have no idea what direction it is going to take. I just know that it is time to write something that's been on my mind and heart. I think I've been waiting for clarity to be able to explain better, but that may not come for a long time. I know if I don't tell about this, in a way, I'm being untrue about who I am and feel my writing, sharing, photography, etc will be a little superficial.

So down come a few walls to give you a glimpse into who I really am. It's risky to be vulnerable here, but I feel that this will be beneficial to my growth as I flesh things out in writing and also as you can join me in prayer.

From the time I was little I have lived one way even though inside I felt another. For me this double life is almost instinct and as natural as a reflex. I learned it early as a way to survive. At home I feared for my life every night as a child, at school you would have never known what I went home to. I learned how to smile through the fear and the pain and bury emotion deep inside as I lived what I perceived to be the "right" way to live. This perceived "right" way to live has been carried into adulthood as now I still struggle to maintain a certain image about who I am. If you know me you might be surprised by the pain that I hold.

About a month ago, I decided I needed to see my obstetrician, because emotionally things were getting out of control. I have been down for a long time, but what sent me over the edge was an unrelenting rage that would come out at the littlest thing and with little warning. I really felt I had no control, was the worst mother, and had no hope. I thought I had Postpartum Depression, but my OB didn't think so. She hinted that I might have another depression. She said that the anger I was having was due to hormonal imbalance. She prescribed an antidepressant and changed my birth control. I didn't really feel like she was taking me seriously, but was thankful to have the antidepressant. I pursued counseling.

In about a week, I really started feeling better. It was like I could see clearly and everything seemed so much more even. I did not hurt so bad and could actually enjoy life in ways that I didn't even realize I hadn't been. My rage also subsided. In counseling we identified that I have felt depressed possibly my whole life. But when the meds kicked in, she acted like the depression and anger were dealt with and moved on to talking about communication in marriage. This is a big area for me to work on, but I also feel I'm not out of the woods with my emotional issues.

I believe that biologically, the medication is helping me. But that is only one aspect of depression. If I've operated out of depressive thinking all of my life, how now am I supposed to think? This verse comes to my mind, "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. " Philippians 4:8.
I'm thankful for the Holy Spirit and God's Word to show me how to live. I also know that I don't know how to think this way and need help training my mind to do so. It would be easy to slap a Bible verse on it and be done, but I think there is much more to it than that.

I ordered The Freedom from Depression Workbook (Minirth Meier New Life Clinic Series) to begin helping to retrain my mind how to think. I was pretty sure I had depression until I started reading, now I am certain. After reading only two chapters, I feel like I'm looking at a mirror as I read the examples and explanations. I feel a strange relief as I can identify so clearly with this book.

Would you pray with me for God to get the glory in my heart? It is a temptation to work hard on this to fit the image that I perceive is right, to live out of my perfectionism and distorted thinking even in searching for healing. I must remember who my Healer is and rest in His presence, trusting for Him to work in all of these means.

I pray as I lay my heart open before you, you are still pointed to our great Savior, who has come for bruised and broken sinners such as you and I.

Creative Expression and Unique Giftings (Parenting Philosophy cont)

2011-06-02T06:01:00.004-04:00

Tonight I had a conversation with Matthew as I got him ready for bed. Yes, I know that he isn't quite six months old, but this matter was of grave importance. :)

"Let's see, which pajamas do you want to wear? Daddy's little helper? Nah. The ones with the cute paw prints on the feet? Nah. AH HA, Here we go! The basketball ones with 'Little Dribbler' on the chest and basketballs on the feet."

He's delighted at my choice, really.

"Mommy played basketball. It was Mommy's favorite sport. I bet you will be good at basketball. What do you say?" I hold his hands, stretching his arms out wide to admire the length of his wingspan as I break out into song, "Basketball...we're playing basketball...basketball...we love that basketball." At this point he does squeal and smile and delight.

I go on about the greatest sport ever. You see, he does have long arms and is in the 96th percentile for length--just sayin'.

But then I tell him, "You can play anything you want as long as you love it. As long as you love it and you serve God with it, I'll be happy if you are happy."

I'm sure I'm not the only one with these kinds of conversations. We hope our children will love what we love. We decorate their rooms (ours is sports fishing), we buy them clothes and toys, we tell them stories all based around our favorite sports, colleges, occupations, you name it.

There is a chance that our children will follow in our steps. They do have our genes and often look up to us and want to be like us. However, they may chose another path. Our role is to help them discover what they are good at, encourage development in that gifting, and teach them to serve God through it. Colossians 3: 17 tells us that all things should be done for Christ, "whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." In addition we will teach our children that their gifts are reflections of God as they are created in His image. We hope to foster a spirit of humility in our children as they realize that anything good in them actually comes from our Father and is to be offered back to him in service.

A part of our parenting philosophy is to help our children discover their unique giftings and to help them appreciate the unique giftings of others. God gives each person gifts; talents and spiritual gifts to be used to glorify him. To help our boys discover their gifts we will give them opportunities in many areas. As they show interest in certain subjects, sports, arts, and activities we will provide ways for them to hone in on their specific interests. In addition, we will pray for them and with them as God opens and closes doors revealing His will in their lives.Things that they may not show as much interest in, we will still learn about, appreciate, and support in others.

So just as we may watch a friend's piano performance with great admiration, we hope all of you will come watch as our sons lead their high school basketball team to the State championship. :)

I'm linking with other parents who discussing parenting and raising our kids in Christ. Do you have any ideas? Come share with us on Thursdays!

Counting Gifts

2011-05-30T10:17:00.001-04:00

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." Colossians 3:15

472. Brunch with women's Bible study group.
473. Constant reminders that my time is not my own.
474. Big brother singing to baby to make him feel better.
475. Big brother reading baby books to baby.
476. Big brother bringing toys to baby.
477. Fresh fish caught and prepared by Hubby
478. An afternoon shopping and finding great deals
479. Pot Roast in the crock pot and friends to enjoy it with.
480. Friend loving on my boys as if they were her own grandchildren
481. Another messy eater in the house.
482. The look on my baby's face as he figures things out
483. Watching baby play with feet and then bend down to put them in his mouth
484. Lunch with family.
484. Dinner and a movie with hubby.
485. Walks alone with my God in the beauty of His creation.

Teach me Jesus--growing hearts of service

2011-05-26T21:11:00.004-04:00

On Thursdays, I've been working on developing our parenting philosophy.

Going hand in hand with teaching my children compassion, I hope that our family also has a heart of service.

Grace will have to be at work deep within us to give us a heart like Jesus. My first prayer is for God to grab hold of my children's heart that they will know Him through Jesus Christ. I'm dependent on Him, because I know that it is only a work of God that any of us can come to Him. In all that I teach and show them, God's Spirit must move in their lives.

If they truly do love God, service to Him and His people will be the result. Throughout Scripture we see that to love God means to love others. It is not a requirement to love God or get in better standing with Him. Rather, it is evidence of the work of God in our lives.

"14 What does it profit, my brethren, if a man says he has faith but has not works? Can his faith save him? 15 If a brother or sister is ill-clad and in lack of daily food, 16 and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, be warmed and filled," without giving them the things needed for the body, what does it profit? 17 So faith by itself, if it has no works, is dead. 18 But some will say, "You have faith and I have works." Show me your faith apart from your works, and I by my works will show you my faith. 19 You believe that God is one; you do well. Even the demons believe--and shudder. 20 Do you want to be shown, you shallow man, that faith apart from works is barren? 21 Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered his son Isaac upon the altar? 22 You see that faith was active along with his works, and faith was completed by works, 23 and the scripture was fulfilled which says, "Abraham believed God, and it was reckoned to him as righteousness"; and he was called the friend of God. 24 You see that a man is justified by works and not by faith alone. 25 And in the same way was not also Rahab the harlot justified by works when she received the messengers and sent them out another way? 26 For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so faith apart from works is dead." James 2:14-26

^"16 This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. ¹⁷ If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? ¹⁸ Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth." 1 John 3:16-18

³⁷ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸ When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? ³⁹ When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

⁴⁰ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’" Matthew 25: 31-46

Scripture paints a very clear picture that to love Jesus, we love and serve His people. How will I teach my children to serve others? I will teach them about Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit. If they know Jesus, it is inevitable that they will serve others.

The Three T's: Time, Treasure, and Talent: (not sure where I got this, but it's probably not original)

Time. To serve others we cannot count our time as our own. We should hold our plans loosely and be willing to give our time to others as need arises.
Treasure. All of our possessions are not our own but to be shared and enjoyed and given away.
Talent. We are each gifted with different talents that can be used to serve the kingdom of God. Whether it be art, story telling, administration, building, any gift can be used in various ways to benefit others.

Practically, there are many ways that I can see how this might look. I hope to give opportunities for them to serve in our house, our church, our community, and our world.

Some ideas:

help each other with chores around the house
take a meal to a neighbor or person in need
make cards for sick or shut in members of our church
volunteer in various ways at community organizations
offer free baby sitting
participate family and youth missions trips
organize a book or materials drive for a local organization
many, many others!!!

Do you have any ideas of how to raise our children to know Jesus and live for Him? Consider linking in with us on Thursdays at:

Life and Death

2011-05-25T07:44:00.000-04:00

“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.” John 12: 24-26

The context of this passage is astounding. Jesus has just told his followers, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to beglorified.” And Jesus follows the passage by speaking of the trouble in his heart, “Now is my soul troubled. And what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? But for this purpose I have come to this hour. Father, glorify your name.” (v27,28)

Come see me at Life River Studios to see and read the rest!

Gratitude list.

2011-05-23T14:53:00.001-04:00

With such a busy week, I lost track of much of my list. Note to self, mental lists fade fast. :) Here are a few things of many that I am thankful for during the week.

461. Godly counsel
462. Grace for each day.
463. Faithful friends
464. Friends and family sharing their pools
465. Husband home for a few weeks without travel
466. Enjoying time with my 3 year old
467. Play date to Oceanographic Center
468. Low Country Boil
469. Instillation service for our new pastor (awesome)
470. God's obvious provision for our church
471. Sunday naps.

Teach Me Jesus--Compassion

2011-05-18T06:00:00.009-04:00

How do we teach compassion in a culture plagued with materialism? When our society focuses success on how much one can obtain, I believe one of our greatest challenges is to show our kids how to build treasures in heaven. In addition, I hope that my children will not only feel compassion, but live compassion, showing the love of Christ through their actions.

I think that in order for this to become a part of our lifestyle we need prayer, exposure, and action.

1. First, we pray for our hearts and our children's hearts to be moved by the Spirit to have love reflecting the love of Christ. This is not possible without God's working in our hearts. We are sinful and selfish, but God can change our hearts.

Also, we can pray for those in need in our church, community, nation, and world. A great resource to
pray for the nations: Operation World: The Definitive Prayer Guide to Every Nation, is a great guide of prayer, giving information about each nation and prayer lists to follow. There is also a volume for children. Check out the Operation World website for ideas and resources on how to pray globally.

2. We need to expose our family to cultures that are out of our comfort zone and different from our own. One way to do that is through children's books and other books as they grow older. Another way is to find ways for our children to have friendships with children of other races. Also, we can visit friends who are in full time ministry, pray for them, and support them.

Also as we study God's Word, our family will be exposed to Christ's priority to love the poor. I believe that as our children grow in knowledge of who Christ is, they will grow hearts of compassion for His people.

3. Compassion shouldn't just be a feeling, but a verb to show. To take action, we can serve in our community, we can bring meals to those with various needs, we can give resources often, and as the children grow older we can go on missions trips. There are many other ways to show compassion, from opening our home, to adopting we hope to be open to wherever God will lead us as our family grows.

Additional Resources:
More Than Equals: Racial Healing for the Sake of the Gospel
The Mission Minded Family: Releasing Your Family to God's Destiny
Let the Nations Be Glad!: The Supremacy of God in Missions (Spire Books)
Don't Waste Your Life
Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God

What does your parenting philosophy look like? Consider joining us every Thursday as we explore what it means to raise our children to know Christ.

Thankful.

2011-05-16T06:00:00.002-04:00

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1: 2-4

This week I've been going through some things I can't even begin to explain. In it all I am learning to trust and wait on the Lord. I take joy knowing He has a purpose for each trial to bring glory to Himself. Here are some of the graces He's given this week in the midst of much struggle.

443. Two bright eyed boys ready to begin the day.

444. Son's eagerness to read about Jesus.

445. Black lab named Black Jack

446. God slays giants through little people with faith in His greatness

447. Walking in to find a Daddy reading to two happy boys

448. Making dinner for families in our church.

449. Red beans simmering on the stove, reminding me of New Orleans

450. Boy sleeping on couch after a day of fishing with Daddy

451. Practicing swimming with Andrew

452. The joy of a little boy opening gifts

453. Transparent friendships

454. Bright setting sun

455. Baby's morning nap allowing me time to play with my oldest son.

456. Learning patience and trust through enduring trials

457. Intimacy with God through trials

458. An amazing sky--amazing sunset, bright moon, and lightning show all in one night.

459. My God is mighty to save

460. Constant prayer and encouragement

When Giants stand in Your Way

2011-05-11T12:36:00.000-04:00

This morning as Andrew and I read the story of David and Goliath, God’s Spirit spoke. “Lisa, that giant that you fear, it is nothing to me. I am bigger. I am stronger, and I like to slay giants using little people of big faith all for my glory. Take your eyes off of the giant. Look at me.”

We see David first speak of the giant in 1 Samuel 17:26 as he interjects himself into a conversation between the soldiers. The men have run in fear of the giant’s great size and strength. I can imagine them, talking about the impossible battle at hand,

“This giant surely will defy Israel. Have you SEEN this beast? Whoever defeats him will be the MAN of men. The king will give him everything, all kinds of riches, his daughter, free living. This guy will be so amazing he will be exalted.”

David says, “WHAT?” Surprised and off guard it seems that he can’t believe these guys have so little faith, “Who is this uncircumcised Philistine, that He should defy the armies of the living God?” The giant’s size unmentioned and irrelevant, David points to the living God.

“Who can stand against Him?”

This reminds me of another passage found in my favorite New Testament chapter, Romans 8, “Who should bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies…” (verse 33)

Who or what stands against you right now? What circumstance seems insurmountable? I have my own.

Let’s look further:

“Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?” (verses 34,35)

This is sounding pretty promising for us who know Jesus. What a thought that He prays for us! And of all the “giants” listed, nothing can take us from His love. The promise continues making sure that we don’t miss the point:

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (verses 37-39)

Our lives or filled with battles against giants. We have them outside of us and we have them from within. They are real and they are powerful, but held next to God, they are nothing. May God give us the faith of David who trusted in the living God do battle for His people. We are not able to do it, but He is more than able.

“ For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” Ephesians 3: 14-21

We love our Jesus Story book Bible! I highly recommend it!

Still counting!

2011-05-09T06:00:00.005-04:00

"Love of God is pure when joy and suffering inspire an equal degree of gratitude." Simone Weil
Oh how I hope to learn this.

421. Baby boy voicing himself in squeals.
422. God, my hope, my rock.
423. Husband's patience with me.
424. An evening walk.
425. He cares for the sparrow.
426. A husband that helps fold the laundry.

427. 3 year old playing quietly in his room during naptime
428. The sometimes therapeutic power of house work.
429. The simple joy that a juice box and a pack of gummies can bring to a child
430. Handwritten letters.
431. A quiet afternoon at home.
432. A friend loving on my oldest boy while I caught up on housework.
433. A week of swim lessons for my son...He LOVED it and did great!
434. Night out with dear friends
435. Husband toughing it out with crying baby for an evening so I could have a night out.
436. Being with friend as she got her first placement call as a Foster Parent.

437. Identifying with other mom friends who have similar struggles in parenting.
438. Being a mom.
439. Present picked out by my son.
440. Framed pictures of the boys from my hubby.
441. Mother's day lunch at Long Horn...Crab stuffed, Filet. :)
442. Friends of old who know just what to say.

Teach me Jesus Thursdays--Grace Based Parenting

2011-05-05T05:00:00.003-04:00

Holding my four month old baby up to the bathroom mirror, cheek pressed against cheek, we smile at our reflections. I take joy at his recognition of himself and the huge grin that lights up his face. This day, a hard day, when I'm not quite sure how to tell up from down, I just start talking to our reflections. It's easy to talk to someone that will just smile back at you no matter what you say.

"You will be three one day, just like your big brother. I don't know what I'll do, how I can love you both rightly. I can't do it. I'm sorry. I don't want you to grow up with holes in your heart, because of the holes I carry in mine. I want to... I want to...(I look for the words)... I just want to raise you, to love you, perfectly."

As the words leave my mouth, it hits me.... What did I just say? I want perfection and am frustrated that I cannot attain it. I sense someone speaking back to me. I hear in my heart, "You are perfect; I see perfection; let go and live in that perfection. Not because of anything that you've done or can do, I look at you and I rejoice in the righteousness that I see. I see Jesus and his perfection. You cannot live in your own, live in His. You will find rest, I will fill your holes, and you can be free."

I know that this striving in my own strength leaves me empty and worsens the holes in my heart. I know that in order to give grace and love to my family, I must first receive it. My hurting places need to be filled with Him, my Healer and my comfort.

"Grace-based parents spend their time entrusting themselves to Christ. They live to know God more. Their children are the daily recipients of the grace these parents are enjoying from the Lord. If you watch them in action, they appear to be peaceful and very much in love with God. They are especially graceful when their children are hardest to love." Grace-Based Parenting, Tim Kimmel

Hardest to love. Ouch. Loving my children was somewhat easy until my oldest turned 3, at which point everything became a power struggle. Not living in grace, I often have felt defeated at the end of the day.
I like what Christina says at To Show them Jesus, "Parenting by GRACE is a slow method, it requires that I slow down. I can’t be in a hurry. I have to be intentional, thoughtful, and listen to the Spirit lead and guide me.." I feel a little comfort knowing that other's feel the same as I do. I pray for grace to slow down.

Kimmel goes on to say:
"Their advice to their children would be a mixture of : 'You are a gift from God; go make a difference.'
and 'You may struggle doing right sometimes, but you are forgiven.'"

I'm incapable of that kind of love in myself. Selfishness, impatience, lack of sleep, you name it, they get in the way. When I just live to survive the day, I have nothing to offer my children. But when I live in the grace that is so abundant, I am filled and I can give freely.

The first step of each day, of each minute, to raising my kids to know Christ, is to know Him for myself.

I cannot say enough about the book Grace-Based Parenting. It has spoken volumes to me about the grace of God, about receiving it for myself and about extending that grace to our children. I think it's time I read it again!

Do you have any ideas about raising your children to know Christ? Consider joining us at To Show Them Jesus every Thursday.

Living in the light of the Resserection

2011-05-04T07:14:00.000-04:00

In light of the resurrection how do we live it? Ten days after celebrating that Christ is risen, does this reality show in our lives or has Resurrection Sunday come and gone leaving a wake of chocolate bunnies, easter grass, and nice family pictures in it's wake. Where do you find yourself on this day?

For me, the demands of the day easily eclipse the joy that Christ's offers through His victory.

Please join me at Life River Studios where I am posting today

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Seeing through thanksgiving.

2011-05-02T07:03:00.000-04:00

Remembering to give thanks, I take a deep breath as I reread and type my list for the week. I have been down and exhausted and today (Sunday) I just want to hide in a hole somewhere and mope. I look at all of this, my thank offerings for the week. My heart changes at this moment, this remembering, this seeing again what God has done. He continues to pour out grace upon grace. Oh for the eyes to see in each moment.

388. Ticklish baby
389. Play date to the zoo with perfect weather
390. Ticklish big brother
391. Conversations with 3 year old
392. Prayer
393. Bedtime
394. Worship on Pandora in my car
395. Reminders of New Orleans
396. Double rainbow, reminder of Faithfulness
397. Playing cars on hand drawn maps
398. Friends watching my boys so I could get out of the house.
399. Girl's movie night
400. Subs from publix with a friend
401. Mosaic with Andrew
402. Rain
403. Listening to my son sing, "This is the day."
404. Falling asleep on the couch with my 3 year old
405. Baby boy falling asleep on my chest
406. Son's excitement about a passing train
407. Fresh green beans from neighbor's garden
408. Storm clouds rolling overhead.
409. Sandhill crane flying by as I watch the storm.
410. My growing 3 year old in the 95th percentile for height
411. A helping hand and playmate for my son.
412. Borrowed steam cleaner
413. Mostly clean carpets
414. Scooting, rolling, splashing, kicking baby
415. Multiple trips to the park.
416. Sleeping Baby in swing.
417. Dirty baby feet.
418. Husband home after a week away.
419. Boys playing football
420. Church fellowship at the park

Teach me Jesus Thursdays... Parenting Philosophy

2011-04-28T06:32:00.010-04:00

I'm linking in with a fellow blogger and dear friend at To Show Them Jesus on Thursdays to share thoughts, struggles, and ideas on raising our children to know and follow Christ. Would you join us?

This week I am finding it hard to talk about parenting as I am facing a challenging time with my three year old. I truly feel inadequate, but I'll give it a shot and look forward to feedback as well as ideas of how you may be raising up your children.

This week our focus is on Parenting Philosophy. The perfectionist side of me began parenting reading books and articles online in a search of doing things the "right" way. I quickly learned that there are many styles of parenting and many personalities of families as I discovered that I would not be able to find a perfect solution, be a perfect parent, or raise perfect kids. Okay, you can stop laughing now. :)

I gave up the search for perfection, overwhelmed by the myriad of opinions on the subject of raising children. I've read a few books, but am most reliant on God to work in and through me and my family to accomplish His purpose for us.

Our philosophy of parenting is still in the works. Here are a few core beliefs that drive us:

The grace of God shown through Christ. Our greatest hope is that God would draw our children's heart to Himself. It is our prayer that God's grace would transform each of our hearts and that we would live out that grace to extend it to each other. I'm not great at the latter statement.

God's compassion for His people throughout the world. We hope that our family would be able to give freely of all that we have to benefit God's kingdom. We want to raise our children to love selflessly and give abundantly, living a lifestyle of sacrifice and building treasures in Heaven rather than clinging to things on Earth.

Heart's of service. This works closely with compassion. We hope that we will not just feel for those in need, nor just give our possessions, but that we would give our lives as well. Starting with a servant's heart for each other and extending to our church, community, and world, we hope to raise our children to look beyond themselves and give of themselves for the mission of the Gospel, fulfilling the Great Commission.

Creative Expression and Unique Giftings. We hope to encourage our children in discovering and developing their unique giftings whatever they may be. Also, we want for them to be able to appreciate giftings of others as God has made each of us uniquely in His image.

A growing love for God and life of pursuing Him. We hope that our children will grow to love God with all their heart, soul, and mind. We hope to instill spiritual disciplines in them that will develop their relationship with our Father. We hope that what they learn from us grows into a life of pursuing God and growing in grace, that their time under our roof may just be the beginning.

Storms of Blessing.

2011-04-27T13:21:00.000-04:00

Storms of Blessing, could this be an oxymoron? My heart doesn't seem to accept that phrase naturally. Storms thunder and shake and destroy, don't they? The storms of life shake the very foundation of our being. A blessing? Really? Well, maybe they have gotten a bad reputation. Certainly, some people pray for storms and for rain, the land depends on them to provide nourishment and growth. Without them life would be impossible.

I'm posting at Life River Studios Today. To read more click HERE

Gratitude list.

2011-04-25T16:35:00.001-04:00

358. Leaving the laundry to go to the park
359. Tacos for dinner
360. Healthy Baby Girl, Aiden Young
361. Andrew playing football at the park.
362. Sand in dumptrucks
363. Plastic shovels
364. Boys watching diggers
365. Wooden truck to climb on
366. Still waters
367. Boy spinning, jumping, climbing, running
368. Being pushed in the swing by 3 year old.
369. A quiet drive due to boys falling asleep.
370. Taking the long way to make the moment last.
371. Good Friday and Psalm 22 speaking to me
372. Daddy taking 3 year old out for ice cream after dinner
373. Memory game scattered on floor.
374. God has entrusted me with the message of the Gospel
375. Amazing Love
376. He was forsaken so that I will never be
377. God's Spirit at work
378. Resting in his embrace
379. Ice cold water quenching my thirst and reminding me of the living water and my dire need to be filled
380. Easter celebration with my dear church family
381. He is Risen!
382. Husband's helping hand around the house
383. Boys fishing
384. A walk to feed farm animals
385. Pinwheels
386. Baby being introduced to dirt and grass

387. "God sets the lonely in families" Psalm 68:6 a

To show them Jesus

2011-04-21T07:03:00.004-04:00

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6: 5-9

On Thursdays I'll be linking into toshowthemjesus.com as we explore ways to share Christ with our little ones.

I confess that I don't nearly have this figured out. However, we have taken steps and made progress in teaching our son about Christ.

Currently there are a few things that we do:
When we rise:
As we eat breakfast I read The Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name, by Sally Lloyd-Jones, to my 3 year old son. Every story focuses on Christ. My son loves this time together. Recently I asked Him what Jesus did. He replied, "Jesus rescues us." When I asked him what He rescues us from, he said "Us." This book has helped instill the truth of the Gospel. I pray that the Holy Spirit works in my son's heart for him to fully receive the grace of God offered in Christ.

When we sit:
I'm not sure if a three-year old actually sits for long. Usually, sitting involves eating. We pray at all meal times and are teaching him to do so as well. We will also talk about our day, which sometimes leads into conversation about how God has blessed us in various ways. This time also provides a good time to talk about what we've been reading in the mornings.

Also, as I jot down notes for my gratitude list, I often ask him what he is thankful for and tell him that all of our gifts come from God.

When we walk:
For us "walk" could be substituted with "hop, run, crawl, skip," or any other action word. :) At my son's age we talk a lot about kindness and sharing and we do a lot of disciplining. Both provide fertile ground to plant God's Word in his heart.

As we talk about sharing, I remind him of all of the ways that we have been blessed by others sharing with us. I also remind him that all of our toys are gifts from God and that we can bless others by sharing them or by giving them away.

I have not done this every time, but often when I discipline him, I share the Gospel with him. I explain that when we do wrong things, we have to be disciplined. We talk about our means of discipline and I tell him that God also has to punish us when we do wrong. I then tell him that Jesus came to take our punishment for us, because God loves us so much and forgives us every time we do wrong. I find that my son listens best at this time. Also, sharing the Gospel puts my heart in the right place and I am less angry at him for whatever it is that I am punishing him for.

In addition, we talk about God's creation. It could be an awesome sunset, a beautiful day at the park, a picked flower (weed), the beach, or any of the ways that we enjoy being outside. As I admire the beauty around me, I will talk about how awesome and beautiful it is and that our amazing God is the master artist and creator.

When we lie down:
Our bedtime routine always ends in prayer. He is starting to pray regularly during this time. It's often cute the things that he prays and it's awesome to hear him have a conversation with God.

What ways do you apply this verse in your house? Would you join me at Teach them Jesus Thursdays?

A walk with Him.

2011-04-18T22:47:00.006-04:00

In times of brokenness, nature beckons me to draw closer to God. God invites me to see glimpses of His glory all around me as He opens my eyes to truly see.

The day I took these photos God gave me glimpses of Himself and it turned from a day lost in myself to one focused on Christ, His suffering, His victory, His love, and His call for me to follow.

Will you walk with me and share in what He has done?

"And they stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, and twisting together a crown of thorns, they put it on his head and put a reed in his right hand. And kneeling before him, they mocked him, saying, "Hail, King of the Jews!" And they spit on him and took the reed and struck him on the head. And when they had mocked him, they stripped him of the robe and put his own clothes on him and led him away to crucify him."

Matthew 27: 28-31

This tree was uprooted and leaning at just the right angle that I could imagine someone straining to carry it.

"As they went out, they found a man of Cyrene, Simon by name. They compelled this man to carry his cross. And when they came to a place called Golgotha (which means Place of a Skull), they offered him wine to drink, mixed with gall, but when he tasted it, he would not drink it. And when they had crucified him, they divided his garments among them by casting lots. Then they sat down and kept watch over him there. And over his head they put the charge against him, which read, “This is Jesus, the King of the Jews.”

Matthew 27: 32-37

"So they took Jesus, and he went out, bearing his own cross, to the place called The Place of a Skull, which in Aramaic is called Golgotha." John 19:17

I cannot say enough about this picture. The scar, the crimson red. He captured my attention with this little leaf. While pulling out of the parking lot, I spotted it, halted, leapt out and snapped this shot. I stand in awe to see that God paints His story throughout creation.

"Surely he has borne our griefs

and carried our sorrows;

yet we esteemed him stricken,

smitten by God, and afflicted.

But he was wounded for our transgressions;

he was crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,

and with his stripes we are healed.

All we like sheep have gone astray;

we have turned—every one—to his own way;
and the Lord has laid on him

the iniquity of us all." Isaiah 53: 4-6

The heart embraced in crimson points to how great His love for us is.

"The Lord is merciful and gracious,

slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.

He will not always chide,

nor will he keep his anger forever.

He does not deal with us according to our sins,

nor repay us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,

so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;

as far as the east is from the west,

so far does he remove our transgressions from us.

As a father shows compassion to his children,

so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him."

Psalm 103: 8-13

He is risen! He stands victorious over sin and death. He rose out of the darkness and back into God's glorious presence. Through Him we share the victory!

"For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of a huge fish,

so the Son of Man will be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth."

Matthew 12:40

"But God raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death,

because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on him." Acts 2:24

"He will swallow up death forever;
and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces,
and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth,
for the Lord has spoken.
It will be said on that day,
'Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us.
This is the Lord; we have waited for him;
let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.'”

Isaiah 25: 8-9

The story does not end with the Resurrection. Christ comes back to comfort His followers, promise His return, and give them direction. His last words tell His followers their new role of sharing the message of His victory over sin and death so that we could have new life.

"Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. And when they saw him they worshiped him, but some doubted. And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Matthew 28: 16-19

"For we speak as messengers approved by God to be entrusted with the Good News. Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts." 1 Thessalonians 2:4 NLT

"And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it." Luke 9: 23-24

More grace received

2011-04-18T07:32:00.001-04:00

"Thanksgiving--giving thanks in everything--prepares the way that God might show us His fullest salvation in Christ. The act sacrificing thank offerings to God-- even for the bread and cup of cost, for cancer and crucifixion--this prepares the way for God to show us His fullest salvation from bitter, angry, resentful lives and from all sin that estranges us from Him." Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are

342. A broken a.c. that reminds me of luxury I take for granted.
343. Sharing Jesus with my 3 year old
344. Bags, still unpacked, of dirty clothes that remind me my husband is home
345. Boy covered from head to toe in dirt, evidence of playing hard
346. Finally, a baby girl baby shower
347. An afternoon of unexpected rest
348. We have a living hoPe (1 Peter 1:3)
349. Psalm 27:10
350. God has chosen me, called me to Himself, and adopted me as His child
351. I have all I need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3)
352. Seeing God's glory in nature.
353. Father/son camping trips
354. Hope fulfilled, an adoption celebration
355. Progress on developing my website.
356. My church family
357. This week to reflect and remember what Christ has done.

Remembering

2011-04-13T19:43:00.001-04:00

Though greatly blessed with two wonderful boys, I'll always remember the baby I never held. I thank God for all that He has done. I praise Him that His ways are best. I hope and long for the day I'll meet Ashlynn Haven when I go Home.

Truth that overcomes

2011-04-13T11:13:00.007-04:00

Lying on his tummy my four month old son focuses on the rattle, his head bobbling a little as he reaches forward. He swats at it several times, mostly missing the desired object, but never taking his eye off of it. With all of his strength he determines to have it. Finally his swats aim dead on and he clinches and clings to it.

This paints a picture of my struggle to know God intimately. I want to know Him, I try with all that I am, and yet I miss the mark so often. I'm thankful for His grace and mercy and that He who began the good work in me will bring it to perfection (Phil 1:6). I have been fighting idols in my heart and habits of negative thinking. Why this struggle? Why am I this way? I trace roots back to those before me, empty with nothing to give. Lost, seeking and searching, living to survive. Emptiness breeds emptiness and I long to be full. Alcohol, abuse, and abandonment dig a chasm at the core of who I am.

I know Christ, my Redeemer, Brother, and Healer. I know Love, but do I accept it at my core? How often do I let the chasm define me and direct me. In distrust of love do I turn away from Love? I struggle to find Him, to grasp a glimpse of Him, and to cling to Him.

When the truth of my past and the pain that it holds surfaces, victory awaits over it. Jesus, the Truth (John 14:6), combats all the little truths that haunt the weary heart. I need only turn to Him, fall at His feet, confess my endless sins and offer all that I am (or am not) in exchange for all that He is. My nourishment, my fulfillment can be found in Him alone. Everything else falls short and only feeds the chasm. He has come to bring life and bring it to the FULL (John 10:10).

How can the wounded one at the core of me learn to trust and accept all that is good? I've been reading several books in addition to the Bible to help with this battle. I think often I read God's Word and believe it to an extent, but don't fully accept it for myself. One suggestion offered in, Please Don't Say Need Me, is to make God's promises personal by inserting your name. At first this seemed kind of silly, but I have found this helpful in allowing God's Word to seep into deeper levels of who I am. In a sense it's like speaking Scripture to myself.

I find an endless list of promises that bring hope in God's Word. Here are a few promises for the battle:
"May the God of your hope so fill you with all joy and peace in believing [through the experience of your faith] that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound and be overflowing (bubbling over) with hope. " Romans 15: 13

"So let us seize and hold fast and retain without wavering the hope we cherish and confess and our acknowledgement of it, for He Who promised is reliable (sure) and faithful to His word." Hebrews 10: 23

"Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord." Psalm 27: 14

Also, As I learn more about God and who He is, His grandeur diminishes anything that stands in His place in my heart. "To know the attributes of God-his characteristics-is to know he is trustworthy. As you get to know Him, you will be able to relax with him, rely on him, and deepen your relationship until your longing to be loved, valued and secure is satisfied in him." Jan Silvious Please Don't Say You Need Me: Biblical Answers for Codependency

I am learning to meditate on who He is and worship Him for who He is and what He has done. Healing takes place as I gain a right view of Him and of myself as His child.

As Easter approaches, I rejoice in the victory Christ holds through the life He lived perfectly and that He gave his life sacrificially on the cross for me. The victory is ours through Him!

Gifts of Grace.

2011-04-10T20:55:00.003-04:00

"'Be thou exalted' is the language of victorious spiritual experience. It is a little key to unlock the door to great treasures of grace. It is central in the life of God in the soul. Let the seeking man reach a place where life and lips join to say continually 'Be thou exalted' and a thousand minor problems will be solved at once." A.W. Tozer The Pursuit of God with Study Guide

It has become my prayer that He would be exalted, that He would be at the center of my life. All of these gifts flow from Him and to Him. I'm so thankful for such a faithful Father.

324. Each first. First time in a swing.

325. Three year old chasing lizards.
326. An abundance of real friends
327. A Treasure worth selling everything for.
328. Brothers playing.

329. Sharing Hats

330. Puzzles with 3 year old.

331. Vulnerability among friends

332. Late night glow of my desk lamp

333. Baby boy's laughter.

334. God's goodness.

335. Communion with Him.

336. The freedom offered in Christ.

337. He has made me glad

338. Time to run errands without kids in tow.

339. Stir-fry made by husband.

340. An undisturbed nap.

341. A new senior pastor for our church.

Thanksgiving in uncertainty.

2011-04-08T07:47:00.000-04:00

Today we'll find out if my husband goes to work next week. It's all been up in the air as we wait for the government leaders to decide on the annual budget. If no decision is made, there will be a government shut down until one is in place.

There are many reasons I thank God for this trial.
1. Uncertainty drives me to trust the One who is certain.
2. A fragile personal income (not knowing if we will have a lapse in paychecks) has caused me to spend less. This battles my spending addiction which has flared up as I deal with a traveling husband.
3. He still has a job to go back to once the budget is settled.
4. We may get to spend much needed time together as a family.

Gratitude list.

2011-04-06T22:26:00.003-04:00

"No one need be poor, because if he chooses, he can have Jesus for his own property and possession. No one need be downcast, for Jesus is the joy of heaven, and it is His joy to enter into sorrowful hearts. We can exaggerate about many things; but we can never exaggerate our obligation to Jesus, or the compassionate abundance of the love of Jesus to us. All our lives long we might talk of Jesus, and yet we should never come to an end of the sweet things that might be said of Him. Eternity will not be long enough to learn all He is, or praise Him for all He has done, but then that matters not; for we shall be always with Him, and we desire nothing more." A. W. Tozer The Pursuit of God

306. Dinner brought from a friend
307. Spontaneous playdates
308. God is near.
309. ALL things work TOGETHER according to His plan and will
310. The promise of healing and restoration
311. Quiet mornings before my boys rise.
312. Savings for times of need.
313. Opportunities to give
314. Bible study
315. a foster care celebration/shower
316. Baby's cries to tell me what he needs
317. My church family loving on me and the boys while Adam travels
318. Time to myself thanks to #317
319. Rebuilding a friendship
320. God at work
321. Stargazing in awe
322. Learning to adore Him
323. Books. New favorite- Pursuit of God by Tozer

Contentment

2011-04-06T19:47:00.006-04:00

"Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs." 1 Timothy 6: 6-7

This passage has me asking myself, "What do I chase after? What is that one thing that I think I can't live without."

I often watch home improvement type shows. I love to get ideas about the home. While I do learn sometimes, often it can be a distraction from what's truly important. Let's just say, it's easy to want more when I see more and dream more as I watch certain shows. Also, I feel a tension as I see people searching for the PERFECT house or vacation house. I get frustrated with the materialism all around and know that I am no exception.

Maybe it's time to be more guarded in the shows that I watch knowing that they impact my level of contentment. This is, after all, more important than having the perfect updated kitchen.

There is only one thing worth chasing, one that I cannot live without. Lord, teach me to chase after you!

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified." 1 Corinthians 9:24-27

Project Simplify- week four, of the heart

2011-04-03T22:02:00.006-04:00

SO, this week I did work on the pantry and the fridge. Really. I did. However, in the middle of it all, my fridge broke. On top of a whirlwind week of husband travel, Nana in town, and Andrew's birthday we dealt with replacing the fridge on my husband's lone day off. Therefore, I don't have anything to show for this week's project, but I wanted to share how cleaning and simplifying impacts my spiritual growth and falls into place in God's work in my heart.

Project Simplify--my innermost heart.

By nature, clutter follows me. I've loved being a part of project simplify. It's enabled me to push myself to finish areas I generally only begin to organize. When I'm cleaning and organizing I sense a greater lesson to be learned in the process. God speaks of the clutter in my heart.

I organize, I toss, I file, I clean, I see what fits, I inspect what is rotten, all to make a better home for my family and a better home to share with others.

WOW! Do you see what I am seeing? With all this focus on my home (a very needed focus), a bigger need comes into focus. Residing within me there are things that are in disorder, things that no longer fit, things that are filthy, and things that have gone rotten. My heart, a temple of the living God, needs to be simplified and reconstructed. Things and people are in the Holy of Holies, God's place. I have been fighting and working with everything that I am and more importantly with all His energy, to get things in order.

But how? Sin patterns learned from my youth root themselves deeply and threaten to strangle what is pure. How can I change them? My flesh is weak. I cannot. There's such a big mess that I wouldn't know where to begin. One holds the power and the strength to break me and mold me. One. My heart simplifies to beat for One. I fall before Him. I cry, weep even, I grieve, and I let go with great struggle. Daily I come empty and wait for Him to fill.

I find that in giving up one idol, another stands in line to fill the place. I hunger for something other, for one who completes and I turn to God's Word to fight off the temptation to be filled with any other. He speaks and I want to know His language. I want for it to be so deeply rooted that it overcomes the strangling roots of self that tend to take over.

God shows me progress, in a humbled posture. Though I'm worn out and bruised and weary, He brings joy and renewal for the battle. I can sense that He is near.

This is the hardest cleaning job I've ever been involved in.

A different plan...wedding story Part two

2011-04-02T14:16:00.001-04:00

My wedding story... (see Part one first)

Let's see... where was I. Oh yes, we planned the perfect wedding. But no matter how perfect our plans seem to be, sometimes God has other plans.

In late August 2005 a huge storm brewing in the Gulf of Mexico forced us to evacuate the city to Twin Lakes, a Christian camp where I had worked as a camp counselor. Many of our friends and community were with us, including my pastor. At the time, evacuation seemed to me a big nuisance. We had just evacuated for a previous storm that turned into nothing to us and a trip that would usually take 2 hours took an entire day. The day before we left, we moved all of my belongings into an apartment that we would live in after we married. All I wanted to do was stay and settle into the new place. Good thing that my fiance had better judgement than me!

We began talking about our wedding plans the night before Katrina hit. Our city was in the bulls eye and we knew that New Orleans would not be able to recover quickly if hit. We knew that all we had would be lost and we didn't know where each of us would go if that happened. We decided that if Katrina hit, we would be together as we started rebuilding life rather than apart. On August 29th, our original wedding plans were literally wiped out. On August 30th, as we were all trying to figure out where we would go from there, Adam and I told our pastor of our plans. None of us knew where we would go next, but Adam and I knew we would be in it together.

My friends planned a great service as Adam and I drove to town to find a place to take showers (there was no electricity or running water at the camp due to the storm). When we made it back to the camp, we were amazed at how everybody worked to bring this together. The kitchen workers brought a few wedding dresses that fit me, one very similar to what I had chosen. They made a cake (in the dark). We had juice for the toast. We had a full wedding service with a friend playing guitar to lead us in worship. My "big brother" walked me down the aisle and gave me away (this was in the original plan).

After the wedding and reception we took wedding photos around the lake. We stayed our first wedding night at the camp in the new Pastoral retreat cabins. Very luxurious, even without hot water and lights. :)

Here we are cutting the cake. Notice the floral arrangement made up of debris from the hurricane. I had a bouquet to match.

The toast with our camp juice.

The vows. Me in dress with bare feet. Adam in shorts.

With such a fun story, it would be cool if I could say that we lived happily ever after. But anyone who has been married a day, knows that in real life marriage is no fairy tale. We are two great sinners saved by an amazing God with even greater grace. Marriage has been a place of refinement for both of us, as God works to change us more and more into the image of His Son... I suppose this calls for a part three. :)

How we began...

2011-03-31T20:06:00.001-04:00

Many have asked me to put my wedding story in writing. So here goes...:)

Six years ago, I lived in New Orleans and served in full time ministry to inner-city girls. I loved my job, my life, and many of the girls were like they were my own. I also strongly desired to be married and have children. Devoted to the girls, and living in the inner-city, it was hard to meet guys that were following after God's heart. So after six years of ministry, I tried out the online dating scene. I kept this secret for fear of being teased, until one day I actually met someone.

This someone happened to also live in New Orleans about ten minutes away from me. We chatted online and it was strange that we seemed to get each other and finish each others sentences. After connecting so well online, my online pen pal gave me a phone call. We talked on the phone a couple of times and then we decided to meet (at a public place during the day). We met at the Audobon Zoo, had lunch, and then went to the Aquarium. During our full day date, we really hit it off and were together almost every day the following week.

My first impressions of him that I can remember: Tall with blue eyes...got me there! Very smart, he named every species of bird and fish that we saw. Outdoorsy and adventurous...a fun match for me! Also a believer, he had come to Christ in college as did I.

My girls really liked him too. They called him Tim McGraw. Because, of course, he looks just like him. Well not really, but to some all white people look alike. :)

We talked and got to know each other pretty quickly. From the start, our relationship was not about just going out and having a good time, but about discovering if we could be life partners in marriage. So we talked about our ideas of family, our backgrounds and baggage, thoughts about ministry and race, thoughts about adoption, thoughts about Christ and church.

I convinced him to move into the ghetto and room with a guy friend of mine. The purpose was two-fold, one so that said friend could get to know him and give approval and two so that I could see if he would live out what he said about willingness to live among the poor. He passed on both accounts.

We also visited each others families and after dating for less than six months we were engaged. I believe in short engagements and low cost weddings. Our wedding date was set for Oct. 1, 2005 with an engagement of less than four months. We made plans and spent little to have the perfect wedding with a jazz band and soul food in Audobon park under an amazing canopy of oaks.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Gratitude list.

2011-03-28T20:48:00.000-04:00

298. Emptiness that only God can fill
299. that He is reliable
300. my birthday boy!
301. Celebrating with friends and family
302. Hopeful news
303. Date night, movie and the beach.
304. Nana- a set of helping hands for me and a playmate for the boys
305. Exersaucers, bumbos, and boppys

Project Simplify- Week Three

2011-03-25T09:14:00.002-04:00

This week our Project Simplify focus was on kids toys and clothes. Because this is an ongoing project at my house with two rapidly growing little boys, my results are not as dramatic as Week One or Week Two.

I did find this project a little more difficult in the sense that I couldn't work on the project at night and it was hard to see progress as toys sorted were continuously unsorted and played with. Being a little more scatter brained, I missed out on a few photos.

Here is the closet before. Big brother's nice shirts are hanging on the left and little brother's are on the right. Underneath, between the baskets and the hanging clothes, becomes a catch all place for things without a home. The baskets on the left have t-shirts and the right have shorts. The baskets fall out continuously dumping their contents on the floor. :(

Not much change to be seen. I was able to get rid of some of the clothes and a little of the clutter.

At the top of the closet are space saver bags full of clothes waiting for the boys to grow into. It's not the prettiest thing in the world, but it is hidden in the closet and when the clothes were in bins they took up 3x the space. With limited space, these bags are my best solution. However, if I had it to do all over again, I'd probably weed out some of the clothes.

The rest of the clothing resides here. Labeled bins for socks/underwear/hats. Drawers for pjs, onesies, baby shorts and pants. One drawer at the bottom is devoted to big brothers pants and long sleeves. On top there is a basket for stockpiled diapers and one for wipes (all bought when on sale or given at showers).

One drawer of baby clothes before.

Clothes pulled out to be sorted and stored or gotten rid of.

Clothes now sorted and gone. Baskets house shoes, burp rags, wipes and diapers.

Toys before.

Toys after. Books sorted. A few to sell. A few that were falling apart to trash. Toys sorted. A few to get rid of. Broken ones to trash.

I keep toys to be rotated in stored here.

This is an after shot of our other toy space. The basket housed books that are now on the shelf to make room for baby toys. Some new toys were rotated into the bins. An empty bin awaits new toys. Bigger cars are parked on the shelves.

All in all this was a good week to keep the system I began a few months ago running.

Who's on the throne?

2011-03-22T22:04:00.002-04:00

I've been reading The Pursuit of God, by A. W. Tozer, on my Iphone (most ereaders have a version of this for less than $1). I am being challenged beyond anything I would have imagined. Chapter two, The Blessedness of Possessing Nothing, really hits home and has me examining my heart in many areas.

I realize that there are many idols in my heart. The past few months I've thought about this and tried to change some of these ways. It is, however, impossible for ME to do, as strong as my resolve may be. So these few months, I have been more aware of them, and acknowledged them, but haven't gotten much further in the process of dismantling them and having God reign on the throne of my heart.

Now I am entering a great struggle, a struggle to surrender. It would be so much easier if there was a step by step plan that I could follow to get my heart right. However, only through surrendering, will anything be accomplished. I simply have to loosen the grip on all that I treasure and allow God to have it all and for Him to occupy the throne of my heart.

This has been a very emotional process for me as I struggle to trust Him as Lord and His ways higher than my ways. I'm praying that He would open my eyes to the idols I construct, and that one by one, I could let go of them and He could reign in their place.

Here are a few quotes from the chapter:

"There is within the human heart a tough fibrous root of fallen life whose nature is to possess, always to possess. It covets "things" with a deep and fierce passion. The pronouns "my" and "mine" look innocent enough in print, but their constant and universal use is significant. ... God's gifts now take the place of God, and the whole course of nature is upset by the monstrous substitution."

"There can be no doubt that the possessive clinging to things is one of the most harmful habits in the life."

"We are often hindered from giving up our treasures to the Lord out of fear for their safety; this is especially true when those treasures are loved relatives and friends. But we need have no such fears. Our Lord came not to destroy but to save. Everything is safe which we commit to Him, and nothing is really safe which is not so committed."

"Let him come to God in full determination to be heard. Let him insist that God accept his all, that He take things out of his heart and Himself reign there in power. It may be he will need to become specific, to name things and people by their names one by one. If he will become drastic enough he can shorten the time of his travail from years to minutes and enter the good land long before his slower brethren who coddle their feelings and insist upon caution in their dealings with God."

"If we are set upon the pursuit of God He will sooner or later bring us to this test."

So many gifts

2011-03-21T07:40:00.002-04:00

278. Encouraging words
279. Lots of other kids for my boys to grow up with
280. Boys on tricycles, big wheels, and scooters
281. A clean desk, one more step in decluttering
282. Forgiveness
283. Warm honey/lemon water
284. Sunglasses
285. Learning about photography and software
286. Seeing through a lens
287. Covenants and the great covenant keeper.
288. Mothering my boys through sickness in the middle of the night
289. God's glory displayed all around me
290. That He can transform those who faint into those who soar
291. Little artists
292. Bike and Car wash
293. Andrew asking for us to read his storybook Bible to Him.
294. Tummy-time
295. Books, devotions, and Bibles to read on my phone
296. A growing relationship with my Lord and Savior
297. A family's expanding heart as they welcome in a little girl orphaned no longer

Project Simplify-Week Two

2011-03-18T07:01:00.002-04:00

This weeks challenge for Project Simplify was paper clutter. I've actually been working on reducing paper clutter for months and so this before picture is really a 60% already done picture. Though I attempt to declutter my desk often, I never finish. I always have a pile (or piles) that I cannot find a home for or plan on getting to soon. This pile moves from place to place and from declutter session to declutter session.

I also wish I had taken more before pictures. Underneath the desk is stuffed full of things that have no home in my house. To the right of the desk, there is a basket piled high with small gifts to give to the kids and other random objects.

The desk is my official black hole and hasn't seen daylight in about six years.

The picture below is actually a kind of after picture. There usually is a pile of papers consisting of mail and coupons to be dealt with that grows and breeds clutter right next to the microwave. I cleared it a couple of weeks ago, it was about half the height of the microwave. On the counter in this picture is urgent paperwork.
I now have an outgoing slot on my desk for such paperwork.

Having a clean counter makes me smile and is so hard to keep up. Random objects from home projects, junk mail, trash, and toys always end up here. I have decided to have a "put away" box just inside the garage. Whenever I find thing not in their place, they will go there. If someone comes looking for said objects, they will be pointed to the box.

The desk picture below is unreal to me. I have a strange sense of unfamiliarity about it, because I have grown so use to seeing clutter there. And as I look closer, there is a piece of paper to be thrown away peeking out from underneath the desk.

Most of this project consisted of putting away and filing piles of important paperwork. I did however fill a recycle bin and a trash can full of items that were not needed.

To see what others are doing or to participate in Project Simplify, click on the button below:

Hope of Renewal

2011-03-18T00:29:00.001-04:00

Ever feel like you just can't move another step, you're just to tired. The finish line awaits before you, but nothing of yourself can get you there. I'm so tired and still in survivor mode. I don't think clearly and move from one place to another step by step, but almost lifeless as I am just trying to get through the day. Anger and impatience have gotten the best of me. I have forgotten to be thankful, to count the gifts graced to me.

While decluttering I make several trips outside to the recycle bin and the trash. Late in the evening, the clear sky almost beckons my name. Similar to Isaiah 40 (my favorite chapter in the Bible).

"Look to the heavens..."

Breathing in the crisp night air I freeze in my tracks. Looking up, my soul says, "Wow! Look at that!" Bright light from the moon reflects off of clouds to look like white caps in the ocean. Stars scatter between them. Coolness of the air helps me breath new life.

"Who created all these?"
"Yes, I know, Lord, I'm so sorry. You amaze me and I wander so far still. I am so so sorry.

"He who brings out their host by number,
calling them all by name,
by the greatness of his might,
and because he is strong in power
not one is missing."

I don't want to go back inside, back to the chaos that I create for myself. I remain still, on my sidewalk somewhere between my front door and the garbage bins. "I need you, Lord."

"Why do you say, O Jacob,

and speak, O Israel,
'My way is hidden from the LORD,
and my right is disregarded by my God'?

So true. I try to manage on my own, like You are not even here. I run in my own strength, only to fail. Foolishly, I think this path is to hard. Indeed it is-- for me.

"Have you not known? Have you not heard?

The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable."

But God, you make burdens light. Everlasting One, how amazing that you do not faint or grow weary! Creator of all, often I think I know the plan and how to execute it, but You KNOW for it is your own. My understanding is so limited and yours is unsearchable.

"He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint."

This brings so much hope every time I remember it. Lord, help me REMEMBER! Thank you for your power given to the faint, to me. I'm amazed that you can change me from almost lifeless to soaring on wings like eagles. I need you now.

Counting Gifts

2011-03-13T21:09:00.001-04:00

I've been in a daze lately. Exhausted. I've quickly learned that having two children means having quadruple the sickness when someone comes down with something. On top of that, my husband's busy work schedule makes it more of a challenge. So, I've fell behind in this new habit of thanksgiving in the moment and truthfully have not lived each moment fully. I've been in more of a survivor mode. Thankful for GRACE and praying for a renewed mind and spirit.

266. Sleep.
267. My "big boy" sleeping in his "big bed"
268. Four boys and two Mamma's in my Tahoe for a playdate.
269. Alarm clock that turns green for my son when it's ok to get out of bed.
270. A clean wardrobe.
271. A restaurant gift card from a friend providing a family night out
272. Clean clothes.
273. That He does not get tired are weary
274. Depending on the One who is most dependable.
275. Memories of friends lost.
276. New Orleans, the time I had there and the way it changed me.
277. The ability to reconnect with family and see old family photos on facebook.

My Great Grandmother and Great Grandfather

Project Simplify- Week One

2011-03-11T20:56:00.001-05:00

In my previous post, I mentioned project simplify and that I needed to participate in this fun way to clean my home.

So, brace yourself, here are my results of week one's project.

There is no shame in these before photos; I can be a real mess inside and out. But just wait till you see the final product.

Here you have my wardrobe, next to my dresser. Clothes piled everywhere. Most of them I don't wear.

Here is a close up of the bottom of the wardrobe. Mostly shoes I don't wear, clothes I've shoved from the top of my dresser, clothes that have fallen off of their hooks, other random objects.

There is no before picture of the inside of my drawers. Do you really need one? More of the same, trust me.

I spent one evening after the boys were in bed sorting, trying on, and tossing stuff. I ended up with one full garbage bag of things to toss, one full bag of maternity clothes to sale or get rid of, and one full bag of nice clothes that I haven't worn in three years and do not fit into post pregnancy.

Nice clothes to get rid of that don't fit.

With everything cleaned out, clothes once on top of dresser found a home.

And I can also see how bad my furniture desires to be refinished.

The few nicer clothes I kept. Truthfully I only like a couple of the shirts and need to go shopping.

The inside of a tshirt drawer.

Project one- success. I love the results.

Random finds:

$6.07 found in closet

one cute dress that fits

one cute dress that doesn't, still with tags on, but I can't part with. It is the dress that I purchased for my rehearsal dinner. The wedding plans changed due to Hurricane Katrina and I never wore the dress. We did get married, just early and different than we had planned, but that's another post. :)

Project Simplify

2011-03-08T15:18:00.000-05:00

I just came across Project Simplify at Simple Mom blog. This is a nobrainer. I have to do this! Basically, 5 hot spots will be tackled in 5 weeks. She gives an assignment on Monday. We take before and after photos and blog about it by Friday. How could cleaning be any more fun than that?

She also gives tips and tasks of how to complete each hotspot.

Here is the first assignment (this week). Hot Spot #1

So now that I told you, I guess I have to really do it!

Joy in the moment of a Smile

2011-03-02T06:46:00.004-05:00

"How do you get anything done?" a friend asks as she holds my two month old son, enjoying every smile and coo that he gives. "I'd just want to hold him like this all day!"

The new smile that lights up his face stops strangers in their tracks at the grocery store. Everywhere I go, people ask about him, stopping to enjoy a moment of the joy and wonder that babies bring with them.

His smile seems so pure. He's helpless and doesn't know much. He's needy and can't do anything for himself. However, he knows how to rest and be joyful in my presence. He knows that I'll keep him safe, feed him, clean him, and love on him. He desperately depends on me to do so. At this point in life, he looks to me for everything, and he smiles joyfully knowing that he has all that he needs. This simple faith knows more than me.

Every time he smiles at me, I melt. Lost in the moment, nothing else seems to matter as pure joy reigns and bridles me in from the cares of the world. I feel full. Reminded of my Father, I wonder if this may be just a glimpse of the way He rejoices over me. Oh that I would desperately depend on Him for everything I need, rest in His presence, and allow simple joy come from within me, fill all that I am and thank Him for all that He is. I stand in awe, amazed at the thought of my Father rejoicing in me, His child.

His Word comes to my mind and my heart:

"He will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing." Zephaniah 3:17b

"O LORD, my heart is not lifted up;
   my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things
   too great and too marvelous for me.
But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
   like a weaned child with its mother;
   like a weaned child is my soul within me.

O Israel, hope in the LORD
from this time forth and forevermore." Psalm 131: 1-3

Reminded and renewed in my relationship as child to my Father, my joy abounds.

As I admire my son's glowing face, I wonder, "Is there really anything more important that I need to get done?" I'm thankful that all things important seem to get done as I take my focus off of things and tasks and live fully in the moment of loving my boys.

In addition, I know that as full as I am in this moment, this is just a glimpse. My boys are a gift from One far greater and in His presence there is fullness of joy.

Still counting!

2011-02-28T15:16:00.002-05:00

"You make known to me the path of life;

in your presence there is fullness of joy;

at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

Psalm 16:11

252. Fellowship

253. Prayer

254. Favorite stories

255. A full pantry

256. A waking baby

257. Baby expressions

258. Andrew dressing himself (backwards)

259. Picnics at the park

260. Proverbs 17: 17 friends

261. Christ holds all things together

262. That my son can get so excited about flowers that grow as weeds.

263. Peach fuzz hair on Matthew

264. Making a friend laugh

265. Smiles

Transformation through thanks.

2011-02-21T09:11:00.001-05:00

I can truly say that I relate to so much of what Ann says in One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are. Hopefully a longer post will come soon in which I can elaborate more. When I first began making this list, it was a once in a while offering to find things to thank God for. Also, I found my self saying, "Thank you for..." and silently thinking, "even though... (fill in with a complaint somehow related to what I was "thankful" for)." I noticed how resentful I can be and have started to see some change. THANKFULLY! Now, this is not just a once in a while list, but a hunt each day. There are things that I think of that I praise in the moment and forget to write down. I am being taught so much and feel I am learning how to truly rejoice in the Lord always.

240. One boy napping on each couch.

241. Dinner and a movie with my husband, baby in tow.

242. Husband striving to grow in serving and loving at home.

243. Outgoing son always looking to meet new friends

244. Family day at the zoo.

245. Father/son love.

246. Train Rides

247. Perfect Weather

248. Giraffes

249. Bright blue eyes full of wonder and excitement

250. Transformation
251. Joy

1,000 Gifts

2011-02-15T13:08:00.000-05:00

225. Another debt paid in full
226. Remembering that my debt is paid in full.
227. Photos in frames reminding of full times past.
228. The perfect frame found- "The Sweetest Story" displaying our 5th year anniversary in New Orleans.
229 Big Brother's tender love for his baby brother
230. A friend's time given so I could have a break.
231. Andrew's depth of imagination as he plays pretend.
232. Matthew's smile that takes over his whole body and brings me tears of joy.
233. A carrier to hold baby close and also do other things at the same time.
234. The ability to talk/video chat with Adam as he travels.
235. The whirl of the washer.
236. Wrist rattles.
237. Communication in cues.
238. Expectant, hopeful little eyes that draw me in.
239. Love.

New Site?

2011-01-30T20:17:00.000-05:00

I have been toying with the idea of starting a new site. With the new hobby of knitting, a developing hobby of photography, and a general lifestyle of making and selling things, I am thinking of having a store/photo/blog. There's so much info and it seems pretty easy to pull off. At the moment I am overwhelmed by the possibilities. Wordpress seems to be a good option and I've found that you can actually have a store on your blog there. Another option would be to have a blog with links to a store set up at etsy. Anybody have any experience with either a storefront blog or blogging linked to etsy. I don't want to lose the personal feel of a blog by adding a store... Hmmm.... options.

Best Buds

2011-01-28T15:35:00.000-05:00

I've been having a lot of fun taking photos and experimenting with Lightroom 3 Software. Here is my oldest son, playing in the back yard with Blackjack. It's awesome that he has a buddy to entertain him when I am so busy caring for baby brother. I'm not sure who is happier him or the dog!

Everlasting arms

2011-01-25T23:06:00.000-05:00

Today I felt carried. On this one year mark from losing Ashlynn, I sensed a strength, not of myself. His everlasting arms were beneath me and around me, holding me and carrying me forward. Peace and joy abound in my heart. I know this is a great work of God. I'm also thankful for friends who have sent words of encouragement and lifted me up in prayer during this time.

"The eternal God is your dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms." Deuteronomy 33:27a

One month, One year

2011-01-16T19:53:00.000-05:00

Today little Matthew is one month old. Wow! Time really does move so so fast sometimes, especially when little ones bless our days and we see them grow right before our eyes. I notice change in Matthew from day to day and I actually think he gained a pound during nap time yesterday. I've begun to pack away the newborn clothes that were to big when we brought him home and he's moved into 0-3 months (granted I think Andrew only wore newborn for one week). Matthew seems so big as he has already grown so much, and yet he seems so small as he cuddles under my chin. Embracing these days of cuddles, I know they will pass all to quickly.

This sends my heart to praise and gratitude
208. Each day God gives filled with hugs, kisses, and snuggles from my boys.
209. Story time with Andrew
210. "I love you so much, Mommy."
211. A newborn who relaxes at the sound of my voice.
212. Weekend naps to fill up my sleep tank.
213. God's faithfulness and love to this child.
214. Hearing His voice through the message delivered today and Bible studies.
215. God's patience, compassion, and mercy that enable me to continue on this journey with Him and towards Him.

As Matthew turns one month, I also approach one year of losing Ashlynn. While the days move so fast with Matthew; they seemed to never end with the loss of Ashlynn's little life. While I now count up with each week and month that passes, last year I counted backwards as I grieved and hurt for one who taken to soon. I praise God with tears for all he has done in the last year. I move forward and am greatly blessed by Him and the gift He has given me in Matthew. Yet, I do not forget Ashlynn, her short time within me, the work God did in me through her, and the hope of meeting her when I get Home. Awestruck by the contrast of January 2010 with January 2011, I can only stand to praise God for His plan and trust Him in the days that I don't understand. I know He is so much greater than I can imagine and His purpose for me, His child, can't usually be understood by my finite mind.

216. God's working through the darkest of days.
217. Darkness is as light to Him.
218. Ashlynn's short life and the reminder she is of my hope of Heaven
219. That I actually have 3 children, though most only know two of them.
220. Peace as I trust
221. Glimpses of God's faithfulness
222. That Andrew still says Ashlynn's name
223. Ability to move forward
224. The right to look back and remember, cry, and hope.

Here is an awesome song by Sara Beth Geohegan, "The Other Side of the Cloud"

Looking up

2011-01-13T23:33:00.000-05:00

Today I started to feel more like myself. Matthew is settling into a more predictable routine and life seems to have some sort of routine to it. Just don't ask me what day it is.

I've had fun taking pictures of the boys. Today I actually got to take Matthew to a free professional photo shoot. I can't wait to see the results!

Until then, here are a couple of shots I took myself:

All things new

2010-12-31T14:37:00.000-05:00

My thoughts are still scattered... not leaving the house for two weeks and waking every 2 hours will do that to you I guess. However I wanted to post on this last day of 2010.

I have never had such a full year. I say "full" not only in a positive and satisfied sense, but in a broken and humbled sense as well.

Many people have been posting their "year of statuses in 2010" on Facebook. This typically is pretty fun, but this year I am actually scared of it. What days will pop up? What pain will surface as those days are remembered even in such a simple exercise? And then I think about the amazing days. My year in statuses would be a full spectrum of emotion.

This year started with heartbreak and grief, deep darkness and despair and led that way through much of the year. Grief has been a dominant theme as I lost a baby and a close friend.

But the darkest of the pain and despair made ways for the brightness of His glory in the midst of my brokenness. I am convinced more than ever of God's goodness, grace, and faithfulness to me. My relationship with God has deepened as I continue to learn to depend on Him for all things and trust His plan for my life. Hope and expectancy of His return are deeply rooted in me.

This new year's eve I look back and I am grateful for every day of 2010 as much as it hurts to remember. I look forward to the new year and to the day when God will make all things new.

190. Darkness used by God to show His light.
191. God's faithfulness even when our hearts fail.
192. God's greatness and glory.
193. He holds every one of our tears in a jar.
194. God's compassion and mercy that comes to us and heals.
195. Immanuel-God with us.
196. Hope of heaven, our Home, where we were made for.
197. Life that he knit together in my womb. One who is in heaven, one newborn I kiss daily, and one big brother who is generous with hugs and kisses.
198. A growing big brother with a sweet spirit and an adventurous little boy's heart.
199. God's provision through my husbands hard work.
200. Deepening relationships and a community that I can depend on.
201. Fun trips throughout the year.
202. A husband who loves me and our family and continues to grow as a leader of our home.
203. All the details of life that have been cared for as I trust Him.
204. New books
205. New art and courage to create
206. New hobbies
207. That God's Word is trustworthy and true.

"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.'

And he who was seated on the throne said, 'Behold, I am making all things new.' Also he said, 'Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.'" Revelation 21: 1-5

Matthew David

2010-12-21T19:34:00.002-05:00

My thoughts and emotions are all jumbled as I sit down to write about my newborn son. So, sorry if this doesn't all make sense together, but I thought it would be good to get things down and then maybe in a few posts or so there will be a more concise cohesive post.

What a year. What an amazing way to finish a year and to celebrate Christ this Christmas. January started out with heartbreak and grief as we mourned a pregnancy loss. I now sit with a five day old son, healthy and perfect, sitting in my lap. I have no idea how a year could start out so bleak and end up so bright and full of promises fulfilled, except that God would and does receive the glory. He has continued to prove Himself good in my darkest nights and shines brightly in the most joyous and happy moments.

We chose to name our son Matthew David. Matthew means "gift of God" and David means "beloved". I know more than ever that this baby comes as a blessing and a gift from my heavenly Father. I praise God for Him and lift every worry and concern about his precious life up to our Father who holds all things in His hands.

I think that's enough for now! Let's continue to give thanks:

180. A healthy baby boy.
181. A healthy and quick delivery.
182. Family and church family that help in the transition of adding a new baby to the family.
183. Ten tiny toes and ten tiny fingers.
184. A baby who came as the least of these to be our Savior
185. Mary's faith and David's faithfulness.
186. God's plan of redemption.
187. Chocolate...yes I can have it again!
188. The anticipation of Christmas dinner with family.
189. Snuggling with my little gift.

Early Christmas

2010-12-18T17:02:00.003-05:00

Christmas came a little early this year. More details later. For now, a picture speaks a thousand words!

Matthew David Tarplee, DEC 16 2010 at 11:16 a.m. 6lbs 14 oz 19 inches long.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Continual Passion

2010-12-01T23:23:00.002-05:00

"The whole of Christ's life was a continual passion; others die martyrs but Christ was born a martyr. He found a Golgotha, where he was crucified, even in Bethlehem where he was born; for to his tenderness then the straws were almost as sharp as the thorns after and the manger as uneasy at first as the cross at last. His birth and his death were but one continual act, and his Christmas day and his Good Friday were but the morning and the evening of one and the same day. From creche to cross is an inseparable line. Christmas only points forward to Good Friday and Easter. It can have no meaning apart from that, where the Son of God displayed his glory by his death." John Donne

Recently I did a three piece series of paintings for a friend's birthday. This is the third in the series. Of all three paintings I spent the most time on this one and found myself meditating and worshiping as I painted. I was struck throughout the series of the use of wood and straw and how even that seemed to turn against Christ even though it provided shelter and protection for the rest of creation.

"And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” Luke 9:58

The fox has found shelter under a tree and the bird weaves together twigs and vines have her young. God has provided for his creation with the same material that causes suffering and displays Christ's death. Rather than shelter and comfort, a crown of thorns that ripped into his flesh and a tree upon which to die.

"The true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world. He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him." John 1:9,10

From the straw and wood, basic things of creation, to the people, Christ in all his glory was rejected.

AND YET, he came, he lived, he suffered, and he conquered death.

"He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God." John 1: 11-13

Amazing Love! All for me and for you and for all who confess His name to be adopted as children of God.

And can it be that I should gain

An interest in the Savior’s blood?

Died He for me, who caused His pain—

For me, who Him to death pursued?

Amazing love! How can it be,

That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?

Amazing love! How can it be,

That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?

’Tis mystery all: th’Immortal dies:

Who can explore His strange design?

In vain the firstborn seraph tries

To sound the depths of love divine.

’Tis mercy all! Let earth adore,

Let angel minds inquire no more.

’Tis mercy all! Let earth adore;

Let angel minds inquire no more.

He left His Father’s throne above

So free, so infinite His grace—

Emptied Himself of all but love,

And bled for Adam’s helpless race:

’Tis mercy all, immense and free,

For O my God, it found out me!

’Tis mercy all, immense and free,

For O my God, it found out me!

Long my imprisoned spirit lay,

Fast bound in sin and nature’s night;

Thine eye diffused a quickening ray—

I woke, the dungeon flamed with light;

My chains fell off, my heart was free,

I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.

My chains fell off, my heart was free,

I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.

Still the small inward voice I hear,

That whispers all my sins forgiven;

Still the atoning blood is near,

That quenched the wrath of hostile Heaven.

I feel the life His wounds impart;

I feel the Savior in my heart.

I feel the life His wounds impart;

I feel the Savior in my heart.

No condemnation now I dread;

Jesus, and all in Him, is mine;

Alive in Him, my living Head,

And clothed in righteousness divine,

Bold I approach th’eternal throne,

And claim the crown, through Christ my own.

Bold I approach th’eternal throne,

And claim the crown, through Christ my own.

Charles Wesley

A great read for this advent season! The John Donne quote at the top of this post came from this little jewel.

Thanksgiving in anticipation

2010-11-30T18:32:00.000-05:00

A little knob moves it way from one side of my belly to the next. Another one pokes my side. My womb changes shape with each movement. As I type my son runs up to me and asks, "Where's the baby's foot now?" My stomach pulses in rhythm as Baby gets the hiccups. All of these reminders point to an amazing homecoming of the newest member of our family and bring me much joy as each day brings us closer to holding Baby Brother. It's only a matter of weeks now and I can think of little better ways to celebrate the holiday season. There is only one greater anticipation which is infinitely more. Praise God for this baby. Praise God for our coming Savior even more.

173. Each day that brings me closer to our new baby boy.
174. Each day with it's joys and trials that can lead me closer to our Saviour.
175. My son reciting his first Bible verse. "Oh God, be my help." Then he proceeds to tell me that God can be my help too.
176. Seeing eye to eye with my husband on big issues and the comfort and support that he brings.
177. Birthday celebrations and fellowship with friends.
178. New yarn and bitty baby hats.
179. Thanksgiving day with friends and family.