Mountains within and the faith that moves them

"And He said to them, “Because of the littleness of your faith; for truly I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you.["But this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting.”]"  Matthew 17:20

Until recently I thought that faith was a strength of mine.  Maybe it is in a since, but I think it's been in the wrong place.  I have found recently that I'm not motivated the way I once was.  I think that it's because I have been motivated by the wrong thing.  I've lived more out of obligation and trying to live up to a standard rather than resting in love.  My faith has largely been in myself rather than in Him.

See, it's actually easier that way even though it's impossible to ever meet the standard.  For to rest in love, one has to trust and to believe in love.  I now realize that I have little faith in love.  Therefore, I hardly rest in it and it has not been my motivation for living.

The other night I woke up in the middle of the night and had to write. I just wrote a little because sleep these days is hard to come by.  Here's what I wrote:

 "Jesus said, 'Faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains,' and the largest mountains seem to be in my heart.  I have lost faith in a father's love and find myself running in self preservation from it.  I run in vain as it's impossible to escape the Father's love and there's no place to hide from Him.  There is a still small piece of me that hopes, though most of my being rejects the idea of unfailing love.  This small bit of hope keeps me holding on, waiting for a father's love to come to the rescue. 'Lord, I do believe, help my unbelief.' My unbelief seems so great.  I feel Him stirring within me."

Yes, the largest mountains seem to be in my heart.  But even the smallest faith can send the mountains crumbling into the sea.

In Matthew 17:1  the disciples asked Jesus why they couldn't drive out the demon and heal a man.  He replied that they didn't have faith.  They were trying in vain in their own strength to perform the miracle of healing and driving out demons.  So often I try in my own strength to drive out the past that haunts me.  Healing and power come from Him alone and with just a little bit of faith He can heal and restore as he performs miracles in my heart and I learn to rest in His love.

A New Command

I'm intrigued by the commandment that Christ gives to His disciples, to us.  I find it interesting that to love (truly and selflessly) can be called a new command by the One who manifests love in the flesh. Love certainly began before the foundation of the world.  In love He knew us before the creation of the world and called us His own.  God himself is love, therefore love always has been.  How is it that we have lost sight and now must be given this new command?


 After all, we know what love is right?  We search for it and long for it, write about it, watch movies about it, and sing songs about it.  Sometimes we even give it to others.  But our view of love has been tainted with a love of self which  blinds us to how to truly love.

'A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.’” John  13:34-35

I'm at The Studio today.  Would you come by for a visit to read the rest of this post?

Joy in the moment of a Smile

"How do you get anything done?"  a friend asks as she holds my two month old son, enjoying every smile and coo that he gives.  "I'd just want to hold him like this all day!"  


The new smile that lights up his face stops strangers in their tracks at the grocery store.  Everywhere I go, people ask about him, stopping to enjoy a moment of the joy and wonder that babies bring with them.


His smile seems so pure.  He's helpless and doesn't know much. He's needy and can't do anything for himself. However,  he knows how to rest and be joyful in my presence.  He knows that I'll keep him safe, feed him, clean him, and love on him.  He desperately depends on me to do so.  At this point in life, he looks to me for everything, and he smiles joyfully knowing that he has all that he needs.  This simple faith knows more than me.


Every time he smiles at me, I melt.  Lost in the moment, nothing else seems to matter as pure joy reigns and bridles me in from the cares of the world.  I feel full.  Reminded of my Father, I wonder if this may be just a glimpse of the way He rejoices over me. Oh that I would desperately depend on Him for everything I need, rest in His presence, and allow simple joy come from within me, fill all that I am and thank Him for all that He is.    I stand in awe, amazed at the thought of my Father rejoicing in me, His child.


His Word comes to my mind and my heart:


 "He will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing." Zephaniah 3:17b

"O LORD, my heart is not lifted up;
   my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things
   too great and too marvelous for me.
But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
   like a weaned child with its mother;
   like a weaned child is my soul within me.

O Israel, hope in the LORD
   from this time forth and forevermore." Psalm 131: 1-3

Reminded and renewed in my relationship as child to my Father, my joy abounds.

As I admire my son's glowing face, I wonder, "Is there really anything more important that I need to get done?"  I'm thankful that all things important seem to get done as I take my focus off of things and tasks and live fully in the moment of loving my boys.  


In addition, I know that as full as I am in this moment, this is just a glimpse. My boys are a gift from One far greater and in His presence there is fullness of joy.