Psalm 63

A Psalm of David, when he was in the wilderness of Judah.

63:1 O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
2 So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
beholding your power and glory.
3 Because your steadfast love is better than life,
my lips will praise you.
4 So I will bless you as long as I live;
in your name I will lift up my hands.

5 My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,
6 when I remember you upon my bed,
and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
7 for you have been my help,
and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.
8 My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.

9 But those who seek to destroy my life
shall go down into the depths of the earth;
10 they shall be given over to the power of the sword;
they shall be a portion for jackals.
11 But the king shall rejoice in God;
all who swear by him shall exult,
for the mouths of liars will be stopped.

Trying to turn my focus upward to what is eternal and everlasting.

Location:Psalm 63

The Weaver

I came across this poem in an old Elisabeth Elliot Newsletter about suffering and joy. Corrie Ten Boom often quoted it and quoted it to her in an interview. I think it's worthy of memorizing and may be a new favorite next to "Hast thou no Scar?"

The Weaver
by Grant Colfax Tuller (1869-1950)

My life is but a weaving
Between my Lord and me;
I cannot choose the colors
He worketh steadily.
Oft' times He weaveth sorrow;
And I, in foolish pride,
Forget He sees the upper,
And I the underside.
Not 'til the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly,
Will God unroll the canvas
And reveal the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful
In the Weaver's skillful hand,
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned.
He knows, He loves, He cares;
Nothing this truth can dim.
He gives the very best to those
Who choose to walk with Him.

Dream of Home

This post may be short. I'm thinking of it as kind of an ice breaker after an unspeakable week. I don't have anything profound or great to say, but just need to say something, so that I can continue to post about how the Lord is at work in my life.

Last Monday we found out that we lost the baby I was carrying and had to have a DNC. We were and continue to be heartbroken. I believe our God is a God of the covenant and that the life he began in my womb, he now holds in his hands. I trust our baby lives in a love that is far greater than mine and I long for the day I will meet him/her.

The night before we found out, I was looking at baby names and a few stuck out to me that had never done so before. One of them was Ashlynn. I didn't really like the meaning at the time so I moved on from it. However now I think it is fitting. We have decided to send our little one home with the name Ashlynn Haven which means "Dream or Vision" and "Safe Place or Sanctuary". He/she causes me to dream of heaven with a deeper longing for God's love in all it's fullness.

Jim Elliot

There are many people who have influenced my walk with Christ, many who I haven't ever met. One such person is Jim Elliot. Yesterday was the 54th anniversary of the day that he was martyred for his faith. Though he died so early in his ministry plant to the Auca's, Christ was glorified in his death and has worked mightily in the people he died at the hands of. In addition, his story is known worldwide and is a challenge for us to follow Christ no matter what the cost. One of Jim Elliot's most known quotes is, "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose."

After hearing Elisabeth Elliot speak at Urbana when I was a young believer, I was moved to commit to be used by God in the same way that her and Jim have been. She spoke of how it was not her or Jim, but the Holy Spirit that was at work accomplishing God's will. She quoted 2 Corinthians 4:7-12,

"7But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. 12So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you. "

I knew for the first time, that God could work through me, a broken vessel, to reach lives for him. I commited to being available whether it was for one person or 10's of thousands.

I am so thankful for Jim Elliot and the life he lived and died for Christ as an example of how we can follow Christ richly.

Here is the link of Elisabeth Elliot speaking at Urbana 1996. Simple testimony that changed my life.
http://www.urbana.org/archives/1996/session?recordid=10

Here is a link to two of Jim Elliot's sermons.
http://www.wheaton.edu/bgc/archives/docs/elliotsermons.html

New Years Reflections and Hopes

I never really took to making new years resolutions. I knew I'd never keep them, and found it quite silly to try to fool myself into doing something that I would most certainly fail at.

New Years has taken a different type of meaning for me, not "what can I do better this year," but "look what God has done in the previous one." Reflecting on all of His blessings of 2009 builds my faith and reassures me that He will continue to be at work in 2010. With all that He has done for me, I wait in eager expectation of what He will do next. He is so good and can do "immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine."

Highlights of 2009:
God's abundant grace that holds me up even though there are times I can do little more than beg for it.

Andrew's health and budding personality. It is such a joy to see him grow into a little boy. There are constantly new things to praise God for that Andrew is doing.

My amazing husband who has served us and pursues Christ daily.

Times with friends and family.

Increased involvement at our Church who is becoming increasingly involved in the Community.

God has been so good!!!

From Spurgeon:
"What heavens are laid up in Jesus! What rivers of infinite bliss have their source, aye, and every drop of their fulness in Him! Since, O sweet Lord Jesus, thou art the present portion of thy people, favor us this year with such a sense of thy preciousness, that from its first to its last day we may be glad and rejoice in thee. Let January open with joy in the Lord and December close with gladness in Jesus."