Gratitude for today.

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." James 1:17

11. long naps. I love naptime especially when I wake up before Andrew and have some quiet time to myself after resting.

12. My son squealing with delight as I hose the sand off of him while he runs around in the buff.

13. Fun times at the beach with friends on a beautiful day.

14. Running water that is safe to drink and available at the turn of a faucet.

15. Spell check that helps me learn how to spell faucet.  fosset? foset? fosit? I would have never gotten it right!

16. God's Word that shows me who He is, who I am in Him, and how I am to live.

17. Adult conversation interspersed with children playing and moms mommying.

18. The fact that God rested even though He never gets tired.

19. Songs and poems of lament that express what mere words cannot.

20. True hope that only comes from knowing Christ.

The Gratitude Community

I friend told me about this 1000 gifts gratitude community going on at The Holy Experience blog.  We decided to both blog our own lists of 1000 things that we are thankful for.  I can't imagine that my list will have a lot of planning or structure to it.  I'll try to post about this everyday and see where that takes me.  Some things will be deep and some things will be simple.

1.  What more can I be thankful for than the personal relationship I have with God.  I was amazed when I learned that being a Christian was not about knowing "about" God, but knowing Him in a personal way.  I am still blown away that He does not stand far off watching from a distance, but instead remains closer than a whisper to me.  I am thankful that He adopted me as His child through His Son, Jesus Christ.

2.  My husband.  Even though his work load has more than doubled, he has more than doubled in his serving and helping me around the house during this difficult time.  His love for me is unwavering and I don't doubt that he will always be there through the good and the bad.

3. My son.  A healthy and bright two year old who keeps me on my toes.

4. Trials.  The ones that I hate and hurt, but that God uses to show Himself to me and draw me closer to Him

5. Friends. The ones that stand by me even in the dark times and make me stronger, shine light into my darkness, and lighten the load just by being there.

6. The baby in my womb.  God has carried me through loss and grief and into another pregnancy.  Though I've been fearful, He has been developing this baby.  I'm thankful that I got to see the baby's heartbeat last Friday.

7. Laughter.  I love to make people laugh more than laugh myself, but every once in a while I can let loose and enjoy a good laugh.  True medicine for the soul.

8. Good books. Books that challenge the way I think and help me grow in my walk with God. Also, books that take me to another place and time, giving me a break from day to day life.

9.  Air conditioning.  It is hot outside. I can't imagine what my life would be like if I had no a.c. to turn on to cool me down.

10. Good music.  Songs that speak to my inner being and lift my spirits when they are down as well as give me words of worship when I am up or down.

I'm back

It's been so long since I've written openly here that I'm not sure how to start.  Let me just say it has been a long couple of months, but things have started looking up. 

I am 10 weeks and 3 days pregnant.  I praise God for His faithfulness to me and for the ways that He has been at work in my heart.  I found out that I was pregnant when I was just 3 weeks and 5 days.  For about a week I was elated.  After that, grief dove to a whole new level as I feared losing another baby.  So far I have been able to see the baby twice, the last time being at  9 weeks and 6 days.  It was awesome to see the baby's heart beating and to see the baby moving around in my womb.  Over the last several days, I have been able to let go of the fear of losing this baby and relax and hope in God's plan.  It is great to look forward to the days ahead of me again after coming through such a dark time.

No doubt, this blog is going to take a turn from despair and pain to hope and joy. Thanks to you all for your support through the toughest times.  I know more will come, and I am confident that God knows what He is doing in my life, even when I am not.

The Hidden Smile of God

Reading about believers who have faced trials in their life has pointed me in the direction of God and His plan for me.  The Hidden Smile of God is a book that I am reading by John Piper.  I am reading the free ebook that you can get online here.

This is taken from the Desiring God website:

"John Bunyan, William Cowper, and David Brainerd suffered in the midst of their kingdom labors. For Bunyan it was prison and danger for preaching the gospel. For Cowper it was life-long depression and suicidal darkness. For Brainerd it was tuberculosis and the "howling darkness" of American forests.

In these three biographies, John Piper explains how their steadfastness through trial sweetened and intensified their song of faith. The stories of how they suffered, how they endured, and how their affliction bore fruit will ignite radical Christian living, God-centered worship, and Christ-exalting mission.

Consider their stories and be encouraged that no labor and no suffering in the path of Christian obedience is ever in vain. As Cowper wrote, 'Behind a frowning providence God hides a smiling face.'"

So far in this book, I have read about John Bunyan. Not only was he in prison for preaching the Gospel, but his entire life was marked with suffering.  Piper does a great job giving a biography of Bunyan and then explaining how affliction worked out for God's good in Bunyan's life and ministry.

"I was made to see that if ever I would suffer rightly,
I must first pass a sentence of death upon everything
that can be properly called a thing of this life,
even to reckon myself, my wife, my children,
my health, my enjoyment, and all, as dead to me,
and myself as dead to them.
The second was, to live upon God that is invisible."
JOHN BUNYAN
GRACE ABOUNDING TO THE C H I E F OF S I N N E R S

"God is always sufficient for every good work; he is not “served
by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He
Himself gives to all men life and breath and all things” (Acts
17:25). Sometimes his smile is hidden, but his arm is never shortened,
nor his light extinguished. In due season the clouds move,
and the light returns, and we are sustained. As we get older we
learn to trust the inscrutable working of his winds. May these
chapters strengthen you to wait patiently for the Lord in the
seasons of darkness, because behind a frowning providence he
hides a smiling face."  John Piper, "The Hidden Smile of God."

"God Moves in a Mysteryious Way"

I've been reading "Hidden Smile" by John Piper. I highly recommend it! Here is a poem from William Cowper that is featured in the book.

God moves in a mysterious way

His wonders to perform;

He plants his footsteps in the sea,

And rides upon the storm.

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take,

The clouds ye so much dread

Are big with mercy, and shall break

In blessings on your head.

Judge not the lord by feeble sense,

But trust him for his grace;

Behind a frowning providence

He hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast,

Unfolding every hour;

The bud may have a bitter taste,

But sweet will be the flower.

WI L L I A M COWPER

“GOD MOVES I N A MY S T E R I O U S WAY ”