"Love Me Never Leave Me"

I was inspired to try out the kindle application on my iPhone. Though hesitant about not holding the actual book in my hand, I think I really like it. I bought Marilyn Meberg's book, "Love Me Never Leave Me." She was one of the speakers at WOF last weekend that I really enjoyed. I have to say, I'm almost done with the book, that's less than three days, which is pretty incredible for me. It's nice to have the book on my iPhone, because it is basically always available to me.

The book is about the core issues that we deal with at our depths of abandonment. I know that there are many ways that I react now due to fear of abandonment.

Here is the product description (I'd write more, but am at a loss for words for some reason). Maybe later.

"Caught off guard, surprised by their own reactions, emotions bubble up that women fight to smother. Where did that come from? What can I do with this feeling that won't go away? Why do I feel and act this way?

Counselor Marilyn Meberg has been there too. When she got pregnant, she got scared. When her baby girl died, she got angry. When her husband died, she battled loneliness and sorrow. In between the peaks and valleys, Marilyn began to see a pattern that led to a greater understanding of herself and a richer happiness in life.

She says, 'We crave connection with the ones we love most, and when our bond with them is broken, damaged, or threatened, we fear being left. We fear abandonment.'

Love Me, Never Leave Me tells you that desiring a love that never leaves is natural, that there are ways to turn feelings of being abandoned into experiences of emotional abundance, and to know that you are God's beloved child-and he will never leave you or forsake you."

Women of Faith

Friday and Saturday I attended the Women of Faith conference with a few friends. My main hopes for the time were surpassed as I had a great break from mom and wife duties and spent time with other women.

In the wake of my dad's death, this has been a tough year. Dealing with the struggles that come my way has been painful and lonely and that's just the tip of the iceburg. This weekend I heard story after story of God at work in devastated lives. In the company of others who are wounded and hurting, but living in God's healing and hope, I felt less alone and more empowered to press on.

I'll end with a little of what I recently read from John Piper's "Suffering and the Sovereignty of God." I really could post the whole book, but you'll have to read it yourself.

"Honesty is able to feel the weight of things that arouse fear and dismay. The problem is not that we feel troubled by trouble and pained by pain. Something hurtful should hurt. The problem is that God slides away into irrelevance when we obsess over suffering or compulsively avoid it. God inhabits a vague afterthought—weightless and distant in comparison to something immediately pressing. Or, if God-words fill our minds and pour forth from our lips, it’s easy to make the “god” we cry out to someone who will magically make everything better if we can only catch his ear."

I am just now learning to be honest with myself, though not perfectly. I know the pain is designed to show me my need for the Healer. His grace is truly sufficient and is far bigger than I ever thought. I'm glad my eyes are more open and my heart is more primed to grow in the fullness of His grace.

Undone

There was a time when I would have no shortage of things to write about or ways to express my faith to others. Recently that is not the case. God is at work, but way beyond ways that I have to communicate. I am being undone and he is remolding me. The confidence I once had is replaced by a deep searching for Him.

You see, the past months He has been showing me how to deal with pain. I am learning not to bury emotions and as a result am growing in His grace and His care. This process is tough and at times lonely, but promising as I hope in Him. I am thankful to be able to live more fully and more freely as God is at work within me.

"...he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

"I run in the path of your commands,
for you have set my heart free." Psalm 119:32

You Never Let Go

This song is amazing and tugs at my heart. It reminds me of what the Lord brought me through in Katrina and how he continues to bring me through the storms of life. He never lets go.

David Crowder Band
You Never Let Go lyrics
Artist: David Crowder Band lyrics
Album: Remedy
Year: 2007


Lyrics to You Never Let Go :
When clouds veil sun
And disaster comes
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
When waters rise
And hope takes flight
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul

Ever faithful
Ever true
You I know
You never let go
You never let go
You never let go
You never let go

When clouds brought rain
And disaster came
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
When waters rose
And hope had flown
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul

Oh, my soul
Overflows
Oh, what love, oh, what love
Oh, my soul
Fills hope
Perfect love that never lets go

Oh, what love, oh, what love
Oh, what love, oh, what love
In joy and pain
In sun and rain
You’re the same
Oh, You never let go