As thoughts and feelings pop into my head, I ask myself, "Is this how I was created to be, or how I have been conditioned to be?"
"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever." 1 John 2: 15-17
I really think that so often the easiest thing to do is the one that I've always done. However, I wonder if that is the best thing. Am I following the way that the world has taught me to live or the way that God has set before me? It's almost impossible to walk in faith when we have learned to figure out and plan every step of our life. For me, control has become an automatic reflex.
Occasionally, seasons come where God clouds all illusions of control and puts faith to the test. With my faith shaken up, I have become an emotional roller coaster. This challenges me to not rely on my emotions, but on the Word of God. It forces me to build trust in His plan rather than to fall into my usual pit of self pity. I want to be available to be used by God and I know that if I get lost in myself, I won't see the opportunities He brings my way.
In the parable of the rich young ruler, I see not only someone that loved his possessions, but a man who had become accustomed to the way things always were for him. He loved what he knew so much that he turned His back and walked away from Jesus.
While I might not have much problem giving away my possessions, I think that Christ would ask me to let go of something much more dear to my heart, something less tangible, but just as influential as the money that bound the young ruler to the world. "Lisa, one thing you still lack (though there is much more than one), tear down that inner fortress you like to hide in and all the fears, insecurities, hopelessness that it holds. Your home is in heaven, come, follow me. I am your security and your hope."
It's time to let go of the world as we have always known it and trust Christ with everything in us. His plan is far better and His ways are far higher than ours.
who makes a way in the sea,
a path in the mighty waters,
who brings forth chariot and horse,
army and warrior;
they lie down, they cannot rise,
they are extinguished, quenched like a wick:
'Remember not the former things,
nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert.'" Isaiah 43: 16-19