Sunday, January 16, 2011

One month, One year

Today little Matthew is one month old.  Wow! Time really does move so so fast sometimes, especially when little ones bless our days and we see them grow right before our eyes.  I notice change in Matthew from day to day and I actually think he gained a pound during nap time yesterday.  I've begun to pack away the newborn clothes that were to big when we brought him home and he's moved into 0-3 months (granted I think Andrew only wore newborn for one week).  Matthew seems so big as he has already grown so much, and yet he seems so small as he cuddles under my chin.  Embracing these days of cuddles, I know they will pass all to quickly.

This sends my heart to praise and gratitude
208.  Each day God gives filled with hugs, kisses, and snuggles from my boys.
209.  Story time with Andrew
210. "I love you so much, Mommy."
211.  A newborn who relaxes at the sound of my voice.
212.  Weekend naps to fill up my sleep tank.
213.  God's faithfulness and love to this child.
214.  Hearing His voice through the message delivered today and Bible studies.
215.  God's patience, compassion, and mercy that enable me to continue on this journey with Him and towards Him.

As Matthew turns one month, I also approach one year of losing Ashlynn.  While the days move so fast with Matthew; they seemed to never end with the loss of Ashlynn's little life.  While I now count up with each week and month that passes, last year I counted backwards as I grieved and hurt for one who taken to soon. I praise God with tears for all he has done in the last year.  I move forward and am greatly blessed by Him and the gift He has given me in Matthew.  Yet, I do not forget Ashlynn, her short time within me, the work God did in me through her, and the hope of meeting her when I get Home.  Awestruck by the contrast of January 2010 with January 2011, I can only stand to praise God for His plan and trust Him in the days that I don't understand.  I know He is so much greater than I can imagine and His purpose for me, His child, can't usually be understood by my finite mind.

216.  God's working through the darkest of days.
217.  Darkness is as light to Him.
218.  Ashlynn's short life and the reminder she is of my hope of Heaven
219.  That I actually have 3 children, though most only know two of them.
220.  Peace as I trust
221.  Glimpses of God's faithfulness
222.  That Andrew still says Ashlynn's name
223.  Ability to move forward
224.  The right to look back and remember, cry, and hope.

Here is an awesome song by Sara Beth Geohegan, "The Other Side of the Cloud"

2 comments:

My Life as a Mom said...

I have learned so much about God and his love for us as I walked with you this past year. Thank you for your transparency in sharing what God is doing and has done in your heart. And thanks for sharing some of those Matthew cuddles with me:)

MEBSwick said...

http://hubpages.com/hub/Are-You-Tired-of-Singing-Sad-Songs

looking for the lyrics of this song (gorgeous) found this article - thought you might like it :)

ditto on the cuddles :):):)

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