Sunday, April 18, 2010
If you ever want to be tested in something, pretend you already know about it and then explain what you think you know to others. The day after I wrote the last post about comfort, I hit a wall. Nothing major happened to bring on my extreme discontentment and discomfort, while at the same time it seemed so much stacked against me. Maybe some of it could be blamed on the hormones of being a woman, but nevertheless, I have not been in a good place.
Today I caught myself carrying on a conversation subconsiously, like it was on the back burner of my mind. I found myself asking how to achieve the peace that I had just explained to others on my blog. I questioned, "What is the way to bring me out of this funk?" The lights came on as if Christ was speaking to me, "I am THE WAY." "Do you KNOW me?" "Are you SEEKING me?" Often it is easy to become a story teller about God and Jesus. Even easier I can live outside of KNOWING Christ in a daily committed walk WITH Him. What I know can get in the way of what I do as I think about things, separating myself from the heart of the matter. I know the answers, I know the source, but my heart closes to experiencing relationship at times.
“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going.” Thomas said to him, “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?” Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you had known me, you would have known my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him.” John 14:1-7
Just like Thomas I get distracted and I want extra proof, as if the walk I have had with Him up to this point is not enough. He should be the focus. He should be the core. He should be my goal.
I love to write and I love to share about God's work in my life. May I not just be a storyteller, but be one who acts on the promises of God.
Here is a quote from the the Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. Very good book. Written as letters between demons in their battle to outwit Christians, it gives good insight into how our enemy might be thinking.
"The great thing is to prevent his doing anything. As long as he does not convert it into action, it does not matter how much he thinks about this new repentance. Let the little brute wallow in it. Let him, if he has any bent that way, write a book about it; that is often an excellent way of sterilizing the seeds which the Enemy plants in a human soul. Let him do anything but act. No amount of piety in his imagination and affections will harm us if we can keep it out of his will. As one of the humans has said, active habits are strengthened by repetition but passive ones are weakened. The more often he feels without acting, the less he will be able ever to act, and, in the long run, the less he will be able to feel,
Your affectionate uncle