The days have been lonely lately. My main source of comfort has been Psalm 25. The whole Psalm is very applicable. A verse that stood out to me for the first time is verse 14, "The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him, and he makes known to them his covenant." another translation translates friendship with secret counsel. The Lord is close. What an encouragement, though I wish it were so much more tangible in that I could see Him and talk to him face to face. How I long for that day!
I still hurt, but it is not as dominant. I still have questions, I think I always will. Even more I still trust and believe in the Lord and His plans for me.
I have to say that I was a bit discouraged by some things I read about dealing with anger towards God. I hope to gather my thoughts and read more to process this and write more later. I write out all of the questions I have and ask them honestly to God. I know that he knows even more than I do what is going on in my heart. Jesus questioned God when He was in his deepest agony. I don't think we should feel shame for cry out to Him, "WHY?". Afterall, He knows and understands and has compassion on those He loves.
1 comment:
We were talking yesterday about that very thing in bible study about anger toward God and questioning him. It was an interesting discussion. I think the Psalms show us that we can be real with God. (one of my favorites on the Psalms is "Joy comes in the morning, Psalms for all seasons" by Mark Futato) I keep praying for you.
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